Uncertainty

I did a Google image search for uncertainty and came up with this photo. I'm finding it hard to enjoy uncertainty lately. I've been very fortunate to have some pretty great opportunities no thanks to a wonderfully supportive husband and family. For example, I was able to stay at home with the boys, go back to school for a Masters (I am always in my element when I'm working toward something and learning new things), take jobs that are meaningful and that I enjoy and not have to worry that they don't pay extremely well. Make no mistake... these came with financial sacrifices and relationship quabbles at times.

I've come to realize that I am happiest being a working mom. I am also happiest when we aren't restricted to a tight budget and I feel good when I am contributing financially to the household. I think I've mentioned before that DH's income can fluctuate depending on a number of factors like the weather and work paces (sometimes it is just slow). We're never really in trouble but there have been times where we've been uncomfortably tight for money. On the flip side, there have also been periods of time where he has worked a lot of overtime and his usual pay has increased by 50-75%. For the most part, it is steady but there are ups and downs. It can be stressful.

I love the position I'm in right now but it is a contract and will finish in two and a half weeks. Consequently I've been working on the stressful task of job hunting. The only unfortunate part - aside from being a contract - about my current position is the commute into Toronto which ends up being about 90 minutes each way with transit and walking. This has narrowed my job search considerably to only jobs in and around where we live (20-30 minute commute would be reasonable) which makes my job search even harder. I've always said that I didn't want to just take any old job to pay the bills but I think I'm at a point where I'm craving something permanent with paid vacation (!) and sadly, most of the jobs in my field right now are contract. I've been doing contract work intermittently between having babies for 5 years and I'm ready for a little stability and luckily I'm at the point where I have the 1-3 years of experience which is the minimum most employers are looking for. So - my short term goal is to find full-time permanant employment utilizing some of my skills such as communications, research, and report writing, bonus if it is in my field or something remotely related. This will give me some stability and then I can keep my eye out for full-time permanent positions close to home in my field. A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush, right. I do have a few leads.. one from a prospective employer who interviewed me in the Spring for a position which I did not get and contacted me this morning to let me know that another job had come up and that she was wondering if I'd like to interview for it. Fingers crossed for some good news in the coming weeks.