2016 Goals

In 2016 I've discovered adult colouring books

Between Christmas and New Years I took vacation time. It was the longest stretch of vacation I had taken since I started in my new job a year and a half ago. Right now, I get 11 days of vacation each year. Any overtime or evening meetings give me some extra lieu time I can use for additional time off which I've used to attend the boys school events or other appointments. I can also use a few accumulated sick days for medical appointments but I tend not to use them unless absolutely necessary since I haven't accumulated all that many and I'd like to bank enough in case anything unexpected were to come up.

Coming up to Christmas I was starting to feel burned out. I'd only really taken off a few days here and there aside from my 5-day Chicago trip in September and I've had a steady increase in responsibilities and workload at work. I found taking a day off here and there required just as much preparation as longer vacations like ensuring tasks were wrapped up, letting people know I'd be away, and getting back up to speed on anything I'd missed.

Originally we were planning on going on a vacation to visit my mom in Florida for Christmas but when my mother-in-law passed away in October, we decided this Christmas wasn't the best time. So most of my vacation was spent at home decompressing. I plowed through a stack of library books on parenting (mostly on parenting boys - separate blog post on that) and work/life balance, worked on one or two projects around the house per day, ate glorious and slowly prepared dinners each night, watched tv and movies with R after the boys were in bed, slept in a few days, and spent lots of time with family. I also gathered inspiration from reading other people's 2016 goals. A big influencer of my own goals this year was the book the Power of Less. I found myself going back to it over and over again. It was a quick, easy read. In particular, it made me think of some overall guiding principles for my 2016 goals:

Less multi-tasking, more single tasking.
Having less big "goals" but working harder and smarter to accomplish them.
Focus on doing the things that only I can do and delegate or streamline the rest (i.e. cleaning) - this idea actually came from Anne-Marie Slaughter's Unfinished Business.
Keep our finances under control.

2016 Goals

Aim for 8 hours of sleep consistently - no ifs, ands, or buts.

Take time to transition and unwind before bed. It can be so hard to switch off at night. The boys have a routine and I'd like to implement one myself. Taking a hot bath or reading a book immediately before bed improves my sleep.

Keep on going for monthly massage sessions. 

Prioritize eating and drinking. I know this sounds crazy as a goal but I'm often so busy multi-tasking that I'll put off eating or drinking or eat while doing something else. A lot of people eat more when they're stressed out but I actually eat less. I felt so much better over the holidays when we were preparing good home cooked meals. Single tasking should help with this.

Find ways to nurture our individual and collective family interests. Some examples, B's best subject at school is Drama so we signed him up for an Improv class, I'm a skier but I'm taking snowboarding lessons this winter so we can snowboard together as a family, R is going on a fishing trip with his dad this Spring, and we're taking a whole week off this summer to spend as a family at our trailer.

Celebrate more and work on being empathetic.  I've been trying very hard to listen, acknowledge, and give praise and encouragement more as a parent, wife, friend, and colleague. Even little things like celebrating the boys having a good day at school or stopping what I'm doing when one of the boys has something to show me or tell me and taking the time to acknowledge has made a big difference in how smooth and positive our days have been.

Progress in my career. I've been at the same level in my career for the past three years. I've been taking on more responsibilities at work for a while now and in 2016, I would like to advance.

Go on a weekend trip as a family this winter. 

Go on a weekend trip without the kids. 

Blog more than 2015 :) 

Learning how to snowboard! Bring it on 2016!

October

Days spent on the lake in the boat with warm weather seem so far behind us now. We closed the trailer and boat up at the beginning of October for the year.

Toward the end of October we lost my mother-in-law to Alzheimers. She was only 64 and it progressed quickly. I knew her a few years before the disease really took hold and was fortunate to have had that time. Unfortunately, the boys didn't really have a chance to get to know her well. I hope we will find opportunities to be able to talk to them more about her as time goes on. This year was their first real exposure to death. They lost a great-grandfather and a grandmother. B&N sat quietly and were very respectful during the service. I was a proud mama. Quiet and respectful aren't often words I use to describe them but it is nice to know they understand when it is important that they try to be on their best behaviour.

Consequently, I was solo parenting a lot in October. Weekends were spent - apple picking (there happened to be pumpkins there too!), having backyard adventures, and making many trips to the playground. We also had a couple of special outings with just the big boys. I took them skating one afternoon and the four of us went to a local hockey game another evening. For the latter, we had a girl in our neighbourhood baby sit for the first time while Noah was sleeping. It is something we plan on doing more often now that the boys are getting older.

Halloween was a hit this year, we had an Iron Man, Batman, and Dragon. Two of which were hand-me-down costumes from previous years.  Noah even learned to say trick-or-treat, visited a couple of houses, and helped me hand out candy in his dragon costume. He was the sweetest little dragon there ever was.

My camera on my iPhone is getting so terrible. It may be time for a new one soon... 

September

September was a big month for us around here:

We spent a totally relaxing Labour Day weekend up at the trailer in amazingly warm weather. Otherwise we didn't get up there much this month.

Two not so little boys went to school. One for the first time and totally loves it.

I took my first trip away from Noah and the longest I've been away from the others. One of my best girlfriends and I went to Chicago for five glorious days. Some highlights were: the Art Institute, a wine boat cruise, Cubs game at Wrigley Field, Blues Bar, Second City Comedy Show, 18km gangster history bike tour, and a free greeter tour with a local gal which was so fun. There wasn't a meal I ate that wasn't delicious. Such a beautiful city!

Skating started back up and I wasn't nearly as sore as after the first practice last year.

I took the boys to Doors Open, an annual free event where places that aren't normally open to the public open their doors. The site we visited was our local airport and military museum.

               

Happy October and Fall to all!

July

Monthly posts seem to be about all I can handle right now.

We stopped breastfeeding. For the past few months, it was mostly just nursing at night. One night I decided I wouldn't go in and wake Noah. There was no transition. He wasn't fussy or upset. Nor has he given any indication he has wanted to nurse since. It is hard for me to believe that I'm officially done nursing for good. I'm so thankful I was able to nurse all three of my little guys with minimal difficulty and surprisingly no weaning transition issues with any. It feels weird but nice to have my body back to myself after nearly 5 years out of the last 7 and a half of either being pregnant or breastfeeding. Now a big focus for me is getting to a point where I feel healthy and strong again. Not only physically but emotionally too. Hormones can do crazy things and I'm only now feeling like I may be getting back to normal - whatever that is.

In July, Noah began to really talk. He says: love you, mama, dada, baba (bottle), nana (banana), dog, bye, hi, hot, more,  bus, and thank you. Oh.. and bum bum - one of the choice words his biggest brother has taught him which elicits all sorts of laughter to which he responds by, of course, saying bum bum again.

R went in for surgery and ended up having another follow up surgery later in the month. My sister in law offered to take B for a week at her place up north to help out. At 7, it was his first time away from us for more than a couple of days and he had so much fun with his two teenaged cousins that he didn't want to come home at the end of it all. Sleepover camp may be on the horizon for next summer for him. He thrives when he is kept busy and able to spend his days outside. The house was so quiet with just the two little boys and a recovering husband.

The big boys are enjoying spending most of their weekdays playing outside with neighbourhood friends and the weekends up at the lake with family, friends, and our trailer neighbours who have quickly become like a second family to us. I went waterskiing for the first time in nearly a decade and got up on my first try. I definitely surprised myself and the boys. I also got the itch and have been out waterskiing and trying to learn how to wakeboard every weekend since. It is so fun! More than ever I've been looking forward to our weekends on the lake.

Love these shots my sister-in-law took of B during his week away

May

Wow, June already! We've been enjoying the few glimpses of warmer weather and spending plenty of time outdoors. I've been listening to the Arkells' album High Noon on repeat too. So. Good.

Lately:

- We've been weekending at the trailer. Sometimes it feels stressful/overwhelming after working all week to switch gears and pack up the car with the kids and everything we need but as soon as we get out of the city, I immediately feel at ease. The route there is familiar and nostalgic. R and I met not too far from where our trailer is and we've travelled those country roads often. We've been making a bigger effort to get up there every weekend this summer no matter what. I've even managed two days solo with the boys up there while R went into work from there. Many of our great neighbours up there help out a lot with the kids. The sense of community is really nice.

- Victoria Day long weekend was perfect. The boys went fishing a lot, we went to the zoo (the most fun was had not seeing animals but rolling down a big grassy hill and playing on a tire swing), swimming in the outdoor pool, and boating into a nearby town with friends for dinner. The lake was still cold but the boys insisted on going tubing. After a rough first weekend in the sleeping department for Noah, he is sleeping like a champ up there now. All three boys are sharing a bedroom which has been less of an adventure than we thought since they are so tired at night!

- We've been cycling! We took the boys out this month to a local Ride of Silence to honour and raise awareness for cyclists that have been injured or killed on the roads. B actually participated in the ride (approx. 7 km and on some busy roads) while R towed the littles in the trailer and I rode. B liked riding with the police officers on bikes and understood a little bit more about the importance of bike and road safety. The big boys really love riding their bikes and I hope that doesn't change as they get older. I splurged on a new bike for myself recently so I've been trying to get out on my bike more myself. I actually rode nearly 15 kilometres to work last week but couldn't quite muster up the energy to ride home so I've got some work to do! I'd love to be able to ride once in a while.

- Gearing up for kindergarten. N had his Welcome to Kindergarten Night this month and totally rocked it! He is so ready to join his brother at school in September and it was so amazing to see him on his own interacting with the other kids and teachers.

- Making the best of a rainy weekend. Last weekend was RAINY. Until this year we've left the trailer when the forecast was calling for long periods of rain. Entertaining the littles in a trailer that is less than 400 square feet isn't the most fun. Especially when your kids don't love watching movies and aren't old enough to play board games or read independently. This past weekend we stayed and had a surprisingly good time. The older boys did some organized indoor kids activities, Noah napped well, and we went with friends into town nearby for bowling and afterward introduced the boys to our old favourite, Night Kitchen take-out pizza, which we brought back to the trailer to eat with a glass of wine.  It was perfect.

June is going to be a busy month for us. I can't wait for summer!

Carving out the life we want to live

I haven't been posting much to the blog a lot because life has been so exciting lately and I never seem to have the spare moment. We are in such a happy groove as a family O' five. A lot of the balance that has been lacking in our lives was restored this past year. The big boys are developing their own interests at almost 4 and almost 7 years old and we've been trying to nurture those as best we can. With them, we no longer have to focus so much attention on the basics like personal care since they take care of most of that on their own. In many ways it feels like a huge weight has been lifted and parenting has become much more enjoyable. We're appreciating each stage of babyhood and the last of the "firsts" with Noah and not wishing them away.

We've been looking at our finances and trying to better align them with our values, goals, and the things that make us happiest. Our family budget (which I just realized I need to write an update post on!) is split into several categories: housing, transportation, food, child care, vacation/sports, debt, investments, and entertainment/clothing. We're trying to consciously evaluate and maximize our happiness in each of the areas. More than ever before, we're at a really happy place.

A significant focus has been balancing each members interests and needs in terms of both time and money, particularly around vacations, sports, and entertainment. We've been trying to prioritize activities where we see potential for growing our own individual and shared interests into collective "family" interests. For us, some of these things are skiing/snowboarding, boating, fishing, skating, and travel. Having these collective interests will allow us to spend more time together as a family. For example, R loves to snowboard. I took ski lessons when I was younger and have decent ability. For the past few winters, we've taken the big boys out to the hill on a pair of second hand kid skis. This year, B took snowboarding lessons and loved it.  I'm planning on taking snowboarding lessons next year. If my attempt doesn't go well then the following year I'll go back to skiing and take lessons to improve my skills. We're really excited at the prospect of being able to go as a family to the hill and to go on awesome winter vacations to places like Blue Mountain, Mont Tremblant, or Banff (much later on).

We also just made a big family purchase this Spring ... a boat has been on our wish list for a really long time. Boating, fishing, and water sports were a significant part of R's upbringing and our summers together pre-kids. We're hoping to carry that on with our kids. We are so fortunate to live near so many lakes.

Kick off

Well it is back to reality after a fun weekend up north. It was so fun to take Noah.

The evenings were pretty chilly so we needed the furnace on and the days weren't quite warm enough to eat meals comfortably outside but we still spent the better part of the days outdoors.

I felt a shift this year as B spent a larger proportion of the time playing with other kids. It was so strange to watch him join in on a game of ball hockey with some older boys and strike up a game of grounders with a couple of girls at the playground. To notice, after years of us trying to get him to pump his legs on the swing, all of a sudden he no longer needs us to push him or help him with the monkey bars. When he wasn't playing with other kids, his activity of choice was playing catch with R - diligently working up to catching a few balls in a row. 6 years old seems worlds different from 5.

N busied himself playing independently alongside B for the most part. He was content pushing around a toy dump truck, playing with the wagon, or swinging in the hammock. The boys have been obsessed with a remote control ATV B got for his birthday so N spent his birthday money from his Papa on a remote control boat which was put to good use. He was really happiest making s'mores over a campfire with our neighbours, devouring watermelon and veggies and hummus on the deck, staying up late to eat "copcorn" (popcorn) and watch a movie before bed, and having foam sword fights with his big brother.

I packed it in early most nights with Noah and managed to finish reading The Goldfinch while we were there - a book I highly recommend! We also took a drive to the local tourism centre and R sat in the car with 3 sleeping boys while I gathered up some materials on local events and attractions. These will be nice to have if we feel like venturing out for a day trip or are looking for something to do on a rainy day. There are so many free and low cost things we can do in the area on a whim as well as larger more expensive attractions we can plan for once in a while.

Enough

I was hoping this post wouldn't be so heavy. I was relieved to turn the calendar to May after spending a lot of time in April working through my emotions about my birth experience and recovering physically. Truth be told, I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. It didn't seem fair. Other people I know who have had cesareans seemed to have recovered much more quickly. It was really discouraging and I felt pretty down. At the same time, I also felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my three healthy kids. Things haven't been easy but they could definitely be much worse.

This week I read one of the most touching blog posts I've come across on A Cup of Jo about Mara's story of infertility and deciding to move on to a life without children. It was weird because having just given birth to my third child and never struggling with infertility, at first glance it seemed like a story that couldn't be farther from my own reality. Surprisingly, so much of it resonated with me on a deep level. I'm on the other end of the spectrum now.

My twenties have been a blur of pregnancy and babies with a dash of education and career. I've had so many defining experiences as far as pregnancy, birth, and motherhood go:

Two miscarriages.
A premature baby.
Two full-term babies.
A medicated birth (epidural).
An un-medicated birth.
The most medical form of birth (a cesarean).
Successfully breastfeeding each of my two oldest boys the better part of their first years and now Noah.

Though we are still fresh from birth, I look at Noah and I know he is my last baby. We've been through a lot in his nearly 1 month on the outside. Before he was born or even conceived, R and I talked about 3 being our limit. I haven't been advised medically not to have more children but the cesarean and complications have been enough to extinguish even the tiniest bit of desire to have more. Enough to make me count my blessings. I know it sounds terrible but as I was on the stretcher amidst all the chaos, trying not to push, and hoping we'd make it to the operating room, for a brief second, it crossed my mind that I might not make it through the experience - that I wouldn't be there for my family and to see the boys grow up. I felt guilty and selfish for putting my life in danger when I had two little boys at home and a husband that needed me. I need them too.

I am big on control. Before Noah, life was in some degree of limbo. You know when people say their lives were incomplete before they met the love of their life or had children? I really did feel like something was missing. Life was full of "what ifs" up until now, like.. what if we only have one child..then two..would we have a daughter or all boys..and what about spacing. I feel a sense of relief now, like Mara, having a sense of certainty that we're done. I feel like we can finally move on with life as a family of five and making bigger plans. 

35 Weeks

Another bathroom selfie but switched up the bathroom this time :)

It is such a relief to have reached 35 Weeks. At 29 weeks I had my doubts I'd make it this far but here I am. Second milestone reached! Only 2 weeks to go until this baby is full-term. Since B was born at 35 and a half weeks anything past that seems like "bonus" time. Last time around, anything after felt like an eternity since I'd never been that pregnant before.

Sleep has actually been getting a bit better. The past few nights I've slept 3 hour stretches before waking up to go to the bathroom instead of 1-2. I've also been feeling less sore at night which seems weird since I'm getting bigger but perhaps it is because the baby has dropped. I don't have those uncomfortable baby in rib cage feelings which is kind of nice but by after dinner my back usually aches. I've been finding a shower at the end of the day and going to bed nice and early - usually around 8 - helps.  

At my last midwives appointment we went over a lot of birth details. I'm still planning for a hospital birth. With B we had to stay almost a week at the hospital before coming home since he was early. With N, we stayed only 10 hours but had to go back frequently to monitor his jaundice levels which was a pain. This time around, my plan is to stay overnight to have time to rest and recover without the chaos of being home and make sure everything is A-OK with both myself and the babe. At my 36 week appointment I'll get my binder which I'll take with me to the hospital when I go. Things are getting real! Baby is still head down and I've gained approximately 25lbs to date. My work clothes are quickly starting to feel uncomfortable.

Still on my to-do list before baby comes:

- Use a gift card for a manicure, pedicure, and eyebrow wax. I could really go without the first two but I always feel so much more put together with manicured eyebrows.
- Pack my hospital bag
- Buy last few things for the nursery, along with a package of diapers and wipes
- Wash baby gear that we'll use in first couple of months - carseat cover, swing cover, rocker seat cover, and winter carseat bag since it looks like we'll probably need it!
- Make meals to freeze for first two weeks after baby arrives and stock up on pantry and household essentials
- Get my hair trimmed
- Order new countertop and dishwasher (come on tax return!)

I feel like this is a much more realistic to-do list than I've had with other pregnancies.

33 Weeks

Milestone reached! I've officially made it past 32 weeks and am in the clear for delivering at our local hospital. I think I'm finally almost rid of the last of the head cold that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks. Unfortunately, now the boys both seem to be sick with coughs.

At 33 weeks I'm feeling pretty large and uncomfortable (despite people telling me I look small). I've got the pregnancy waddle down pat now. Sleeping has also taken a turn for the worst. I generally go to bed by 8pm to account for all the times I get up through the night. Last night was particularly bad. I woke up every 1-2 hours before moving downstairs to finish the night on the couch which seemed more comfortable. I also have to be conscious to stay on my left side or rather off my right side or flat on my back due to an issue with my right kidney. Typically in other pregnancies at this point I would've woken up just enough to stretch my sore leg and out and roll over.

Baby seems to have turned head down and stayed there. Which is really good news. Though there is always the chance he'll flip back around. I forgot what a funny feeling baby hiccups were and what it feels like when the baby pushes up against one side. Movements have slowed down at this point but most of the movements now feel jarring and if I feel my belly I can feel a limb through the skin when that happens. N asks me often, "where's your baby?" and when I reply in my belly he looks surprised every time. B is really excited and seems to understand everything for the most part.

Emotionally, it feels very real that this baby will soon be here. I'd be very surprised if baby held off until his due date in early April which means he will likely be born sometime next month. Some things have been weighing on my mind...  like labour fear. Having had the experience of delivering both with the epidural and without, there is no denying that without was more painful. But at the same time, the pain was fairly short lived and the recovery seemed much easier. There was no IV or catheter; no worrying about potential side effects like paralysis, chronic headaches, prolonged labour and increased risk of cesarian, or lethargic baby; no waiting for the freezing to wear off, no required 24 hour hospital stay. I could also feel the effectiveness of pushing without the medication and only ended up with a hairline tear vs. a much worse tear when I had the epidural with B (who was 2lbs smaller!). But still I worry about complications arising and being without pain medication if interventions are needed like forceps, episiotomy (if the doctor takes over), or tearing that requires stitches. This is also coupled with the fear that my labours are generally very quick and even if I needed or decided I wanted pain relief there is a good chance I wouldn't be able to get it. I had a long conversation with R about my feelings. He's supportive of whatever I decide to do of course but ultimately only I can make that decision for myself. I'm still leaning toward going without the medication again. Keep your fingers crossed for a smooth labour and delivery for me!

I've been feeling sad about the thought of leaving work too. I love my job and the people I work with and since I am on a contract, I don't have a guaranteed job to come back to. Job searching again feels so daunting. Being a mother is definitely a very fulfilling and rewarding job and I love spending time with my kids but there is definitely a gap when I am not working or when I put my own passions to the side. Luckily, I volunteer with a couple of different groups/organizations so I am hoping I can ramp up my involvement there and I'm trying to keep a positive outlook that if I don't end up going back to my current job that a much better prospect will come up.

Our nursery is finally painted, furniture put back together and scrubbed cleaned (post to come soon!). Just waiting on the finishing touches - some decor - and to be loaded back up with the baby stuff from the basement. Now if we can get it together to finalize our short list of baby names we'll be prepared. Having a third boy definitely makes choosing a name more difficult!

31 Weeks

I made it to 31 weeks - one more week and I will have met my first small milestone of being far enough to deliver locally and collect EI if I need to leave work early!

I felt pretty crummy this week and mostly felt like I was really just muddling through. I was uncomfortable most days at work whether it was my extremely low blood pressure making me feel faint or dizzy, just getting over an infection, being achy, feeling a ton of pressure, and being over the top exhausted - I just wasn't myself. This was extremely frustrating because I really enjoy my work and I'm usually so on the ball. I'm also usually happiest when I'm very busy. This week was the first time I regretted having extra commitments. Mentally and physically I was just not there. Last night, as soon as the boys were in bed, I packed it in at 7pm. I still woke up every 2-3 hours to go to the bathroom, get a drink/or mini snack (to help with the low blood pressure issues), and rearrange some of my 5 pillows I currently sleep with. But I slept until 7am and for the first time in nearly 2 weeks I felt worlds better.

Some things that helped me cope over the past couple of weeks:

- Having an awesome partner. DH has really been amazing. Being a working mom, we share parenting and household responsibilities pretty equally but the past 2 weeks he's really stepped up his game and taken over the lions share of the kid duties and cooking. My house hasn't been the cleanest but what is really important has been taken care of. My sister also deserves honourable mention as she watches the boys at our house during the week and also helped out more than usual with things like laundry, tidying, and shovelling.

- Making a goal to do just one "extra" thing each day. Usually I ended up doing 2 or 3 but it made me feel more productive when I was really feeling terrible and starting to get overwhelmed by the thought of everything that I wasn't doing that I'd need to get caught up on. One night I cleaned all the toilets (living with boys makes this a frequent chore) and stocked the bathrooms with toilet paper and it felt like such an accomplishment.

- Having the boys help out more. At almost 3 and almost 6, the boys are capable of doing a lot in terms of self care and around the house and they do regularly. I've never been more thankful that we've always encouraged their independence than I was last week. B can help N with a lot of the stuff he can't quite do on his own yet too. B thought it would be nice to help me since I wasn't feeling well by wiping down the table after dinner all of last week. It was sweet of him and it was a big help. N was my little helper all day long today - I barely had to bend over to pick anything up or reach things in low places. Both of them especially like helping to bring grocery bags to the kitchen and putting the groceries away. N loves to help with laundry - gathering items and filling the hamper, loading the machines and pressing start, transferring clothes from washer to dryer and emptying the dryer.

I'm hoping that the past couple of weeks were just a rough patch though I think they really put into perspective that there isn't much time left before baby #3 arrives and that I should be realistic in setting goals over the next couple of months and focus on prioritizing rest, healthy eating, and minimizing stress and sorting goals into what needs to be done immediately and what things can wait until after the baby arrives. Originally I had wanted to make baby photo albums for the boys and family year books for the last 6+ years but that is definitely something I can plug away at once the baby arrives and I'm off work. I've also said it before and it is something that I keep coming back to, I want to enjoy these last few weeks as a family of 4.

Update on my not so little ones

I haven't written an update on these guys in forever:

At 5 1/2 years, B...

- Is very social
- Is starting to show a real interest in learning things like letters, words, and the time.
- Is extremely caring and compassionate - he is a great big brother.
- Is very sensitive to being told no. Needs explanations.
- Enjoys having stories read to him (not so much trying to read them on his own)
- Likes colouring, painting, and gluing. His artistic abilities have grown dramatically.
- Is fascinated with Christmas
- Is too good at climbing trees.
- Still doesn't enjoy playing independently often or for long periods of time
- Is an early riser

At 2 1/2 years, N...

- Is determined as ever. Knows exactly what he wants.
- Is inquisitive - asks questions constantly
- Exercises his independence regularly (refusing help to get dressed, refusing to wear a diaper, climbing out of his crib, refusing to nap, using a chair or stool to climb up to the counter and fridge to help himself to food).
- Can ride his older brother's 2 wheeled scooter like a pro
- Doesn't test the boundaries as much as his older brother does/did
- Loves to look at pictures and tell you things about them
- Loves our Yorkie "Jake"
- Is still the pickiest of eaters and almost nightly declares "izz yucky" at the dinner table when presented with his food
- Likes cuddles
- Likes his sleep

Though they argue daily over toys and stuff lately - mostly N wanting whatever B has, they're still the best of friends. They hug and tell the other they love them often. They say sorry on their own most of the time when someone gets upset or hurt. In the mornings whoever wakes up first just has to wake the other up.

Baby #3: First Trimester Recap

Phew! I am out of the first trimester. Big sigh of relief. My first trimester was both uneventful (for the most part) and different from my other pregnancies.

Given that it was my third pregnancy, I didn't have my first midwives appointment until 10 weeks which seemed like an eternity. I guess by now, they figure I would know the drill with taking prenatals and what I should be avoiding. At the 10 week appointment, my midwife said it would be too early to hear the heartbeat with the doppler so I had no idea whether there was even a baby in there (positive pregnancy test aside) until my dating ultrasound at almost 13 weeks. Having had two miscarriages, one before B and then another before N,  I was half expecting to receive bad news but the prospect of having a miscarriage didn't weigh on my mind like it did with the previous pregnancies. Maybe something about the fact that I have been fortunate enough and able to carry and deliver two healthy children. I just figured we'd try again if things didn't work out this time like we did with the others. Nevertheless, it was a huge relief at my 13 week scan when the technician confirmed there was indeed a baby in there and that everything looked really good! 

After experiencing only one week of nausea with B and then only feeling "off" a few times with N, I was surprised this time around to be hit with all day nausea from approx. 6.5 weeks-9.5 weeks. I never actually got sick but I felt terrible pretty much 100% of the time. During this time, I also spent a fortune eating out for lunch at work. Something would seem palatable to bring the evening before or in the morning when I was getting ready and then by lunchtime it would seem completely gross. Consequently I had to wait until lunch time to see what I thought I might be able to stomach at that time. I pretty much lived off of Tim Hortons chicken noodle soup and toasted dry bagel, Subway, and on a good day, the Pita Pit.  At home, I ate lots of bagels, bread/toast, and fried eggs. Needless to say, I have gained more weight this pregnancy than I did with my previous two. I am so happy this passed (and was only a few weeks)! Aside from the brief nausea and weight gain (fat not baby), I haven't actually felt too pregnant yet. 

At Thanksgiving, we shared our baby news with our families. One big difference I've noticed with this pregnancy is in peoples reactions to the news. First reactions have been more surprise than excitement.  Close friends and family knew that we were planning/thinking about having another so they weren't too surprised. After our first baby, people asked us when we were going to have another. When we got pregnant with N, there was resounding excitement from everyone - a sibling for B, how wonderful. 

Though I know most people are well meaning some of my "favourite" comments this time around, even from family have been:

"was it planned?" - as if no one in their right mind would plan three - must have been an accident

"so you decided to try for a girl" - a rationale to justify a third since we have the two boys and no one in their right mind would plan to have a third child, unless it was to try for the opposite gender

"that will be busy" 

I try to take it like a good sport and politely laugh it off. For the record, yes we planned to have a third baby. I came from a family of 3 kids, DH came from a family of 5 (his 3 oldest siblings are half siblings from a first marriage) - not exactly a stretch of the imagination that 3 kids might be a normal family size in our perspective. You bet my father-in-law (father of 5) sure didn't have any of the above "favourite" comments for us when we shared the news. No, we weren't trying for any gender in specific. We'll be (honestly) equally happy with whatever we get. And finally... yes, I'm sure we will be busy with 3 kids, but we enjoy keeping busy. 

We're so so excited for our new addition. 

On Extra-Curriculars

Good old game of family ball hockey a couple of weekends ago up north

One of my favourite bloggers recently wrote an awesome post over at the Yummy Mummy Club. I had been planning on writing our family approach for awhile and this made the perfect opportunity. How do you find a balance between enriching your child's life with extracurriculars, allowing them to have free and unstructured play, and not burning them or yourself as a parent out at the same time. Multiply the number of kids and this equation can get increasingly difficult, not to mention expensive. 

I was recently scrolling the EQAO (standardized testing) results for our school and found the questions they asked of the kids the most interesting - an overwhelming number of them participated in extracurriculars. Nearly all of those extracurriculars fell under the "sports" category. Undoubtedly a part of this is the federal tax credit for qualifying activities which get kids active. Remarkably few children at our school took extracurriculars in the area of art, drama, or music but I imagine this would be much the same for other schools in the area. The EQAO also asks the child about screen time and parent engagement  - I'd encourage you to search for the results from your school if you live in Ontario. 

Both our boys absolutely LOVE the outdoors. We have no trouble getting either to go outside and play. It also helps that we live in a neighbourhood with many kids and the park/playground is really close. We also have a decent-sized backyard and whenever people have asked what they'd like for their birthdays (both in the Spring) we always answer anything for outdoor play. So, they are quite active. We often like to "let them burn off steam" by playing outside. 

Our family approach:

- We've never done more than one extracurricular at one time for each kid. At this point, N (2.5 yrs) has only ever taken swimming lessons and I think we'll keep it fairly limited until about age 4. We tried B at 3 yrs with soccer and he didn't particularly enjoy it. He was also developmentally very focused on himself still and playing alongside other children rather than with them. It was effectively a waste of both time and money. Since our little guys are very active on a regular basis, I would argue for our family, getting the required amount of physical activity won't be an "issue" until at least age 9-10 when more technology starts infiltrating their lives. 

- At least, once in the Fall, Winter or Spring (usually Fall of Spring to avoid missing too many lessons from ear infections) both boys take swimming lessons. We think of this as non-optional and as a life skill. It costs about $80 for 9 or 10 weeks which isn't too bad. In the past, the boys were lucky to have Grandma take them to their lessons. This gave them special time with her. In the summer, we are usually around pools or water a lot more and they can practice their swimming then with us in an unstructured environment. 

- We also want to try to encourage at least one extra curricular other than sports. B is really interested in drawing lately so this might be an option. 

- Down the line, if either child gets particularly interested in one sport, we will have to weigh our options both in terms of time/cost/impact to the rest of the family. We're all for nurturing interests and talents in each child but also being mindful of the family as a unit. 

On timing... 

Finding a good balance with the timing of extracurriculars has been something that I only think we finally got down recently. Our family rule is that we will spend more than half of the evenings in the week at home together as a family this means no more than 3 nights/week can contain activities for all family members. As our family grows, we will have to be conscious about scheduling so as to not break our rule (adult extracurriculars included!). 

Both boys are taking swimming lessons this Fall and we thought about scheduling them together except one parent has to be in the pool still with N which makes it a little bit difficult if you're going solo and doesn't give the chance to watch B's lesson. Also, most of the lessons are at 6 or 6:30pm which makes getting back for our 7pm bedtime difficult and makes for cranky kids the next morning. Also, after dinner both of my kids are tired and consequently their listening skills aren't the greatest and melt downs are at their prime. Another consideration we have is that while DH is home every night of the week, I often have work meetings in the evening or volunteer commitments. On average, I am out 1-2 nights/week but some odd weeks, as many as 3 nights. This makes it more difficult for evening activities since both kids need to be dragged along and while B is a little bit more flexible with bedtime, often N is falling apart before bedtime. 

Since N is home with my sister during the week, she volunteered to take him to swimming lessons during the week in the mornings when he'd be well rested. This also gives them something to break up their week a little bit. Since this was B's first year of full day kindergarten, and given our past experiences with night time lessons, we opted for morning lessons on the weekend when he is also well rested and it doesn't cut into the rest of our day together. This schedule is working wonderfully for us so far. I even enjoy going to watch the lessons more since I haven't been working all day and stressing to make dinner and get out the door. 

I'd love to hear how others handle extracurriculars!

Summer relaxing

I've been a little bit of an infrequent blogger this summer. We've been spending nearly all of our weekends lakeside. Last weekend we were up at my in-law's cottage and we happened upon a well used hammock they had lying around. We brought it back with us for our own summer place. This was the first weekend we put it up and it was used constantly. Yes, there was ample arguing over turns, who is sitting on top of who, etc. but the boys and their friends had such good fun on the hammock all weekend.

I miss this place.

Last weekend on a rainy Sunday morning we piled in the car and took off for a drive and ended up at my alma mater and the place where R and I met. We frolicked around the quiet campus with the boys and our wee dog. We pretty much had the place to ourselves.

I'm getting the itch to go back to school.

Our weekends

This pretty much sums up our weekends lately. Lots of outdoors, swimming, playing, and R-E-L-A-X-I-N-G at our summer getaway. This weekend B mastered the monkey bars and pole at the park in 10 minutes, and swam the width of the pool unassisted in the shallow end. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly he seems to be learning things. Except for reading and writing. Although we are making some progress. He has started asking us to make the sound of the first letter of words so he can guess what letter it starts with. 

Wordless Wednesday

Excitement

Last week DH had to have emergency surgery (nothing too serious) but it put him out of commission all week. 

Lots of updates to share soon. Between finishing school, surgery, renos, and birthdays we've had quite the exciting few weeks. 

Two is a pair.

With my paper under my belt, I've been spending a lot of time lately with these little monkeys. They are quite the pair. But their differences are also starting to show.

N takes on the little brother role pretty seriously - both idolizing his older brother and erring on the side of over dramatic at times to try to get his brother into trouble in order to get his way.  He is sneaky and stubborn too. He plays well on his own and will stay engaged in play for longer periods of time than B ever did. At almost 23 months, he's going through a huge naming phase right now. Bottles have been replaced by books. He loves reading. His favourite - Good Night Moon.  He will use the toilet if we put him on though we are nowhere near getting rid of the diapers yet!  

B is the quintessential big brother, always wanting to take care of his little brother. He just has to be the first one in to see him and help him out of his crib in the mornings and hates seeing N upset. At the same time, he's starting to play the older sibling card - sometimes trying to make sure that he gets more of something or gets to do something longer since he is older. Sometimes he snatches things away from N despite our constant reminders - "don't take from your brother". B is very social and is always looking for someone to play with. He adores being outside and jumping on the trampoline, riding his bike, rollerblading, or riding his scooter. His writing is becoming much more legible with school and his artistic abilities are coming along too. He has been wanting to draw and paint a lot lately. I can't believe he will be 5 at the end of this month.