38 Weeks

I thought for sure I wouldn't see the month of April still pregnant but here I am on the last day of March. Still pregnant. I'm really grateful to have been able to carry this baby to term and beyond.

Everything is ready to go at home, I've just been trying to keep things neat and tidy. Grocery shopping was weird this week. With meal planning I was hesitant to plan meals for the whole week since I have a significant freezer stash built up for baby's arrival but at the same time, no guarantees he'll come this week.

This weekend was really relaxed and low key. On Friday I ran a few errands on the way home from work - including picking up 3 high circulation library books I had placed on hold that happened to come in ridiculously quick.

DH worked on Saturday and, much to my surprise, the boys were fairly well-behaved and didn't send me into labour while he was away. B spent most of the weekend outside playing with the neighbours on his bike, scooter, and rollerblades.

On Sunday, everyone but myself slept in until nearly 8am which was crazy and we spent a quiet morning watching Frozen. In the afternoon we went for a long walk around the neighbourhood, the boys rode their scooters, and we even brought the dog along. Throughout the course of the weekend I even got the chance to get through an entire book.

I've been enjoying a lot of snuggles lately with my littlest soon-to-be 3 year old/big brother. One thing I've liked about the 3 year spacing between the boys has been not feeling like I have to divide attention between two babies for the important and sometimes difficult milestones in the first years. I feel like each child got their chance to really "be the baby" if that makes any sense. In many ways, N has also grown up much more quickly than B did. I noticed this a lot as I watched him and B going hard on their 2-wheeled scooters during our walk. B received a 3-wheeled scooter for his 3rd birthday, yet N has been riding a 2-wheeled competently since last Fall (at 2 1/2).

I will have my 38 week midwife appointment tomorrow. At this appointment they offer the stretch and sweep to get things going if I wish. I opted for one at 38 weeks when I was pregnant with N and it did its job. Think of me tomorrow!

37 Weeks.

*Happy Dance* I've officially made it to full term! The past few days I've been getting a lot of Braxton Hicks. Total weight gain at this point has been almost 30lbs - the most I've gained in a pregnancy. Belly is measuring just above 50th percentile for weeks so baby is likely average in size.

The house is stocked with groceries and supplies for a while.

I've been continuing to prep homemade freezer meals for after baby comes:
- Spaghetti sauce
- Shepherd's pie (without the mashed potato topping - I like to add that when I make it)
- Hamburgers
- Turkey chili
- Turkey meatballs
- Chicken pot pie

Also in the freezer:
- Chicken nuggets
- Haddock

Single serves (I totally plan on bringing a couple of these to the hospital - I know there is nothing but a yucky day old sandwich offered to you when you birth in the middle of the night):
- Chicken noodle soup
- Spaghetti sauce
- Quiche
- Turkey Chili

Small portions of snacks (also for the hospital):
- Blueberry Cranberry Muffins
- Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
- Whole Wheat Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins
- Rice Krispie Squares

I've been keeping the fruit stocked too so I can grab a few pieces on my way out the door.

As for work, I am still working. My official last day isn't for another 2 weeks but pretty much all of my projects are wrapped up to a point where someone else could easily take over without trouble. My colleagues threw me a"going away/happy baby" lunch. It was really nice but I've been feeling very emotional about leaving. Trying to keep positive that I might have the opportunity to go back or that something even more perfect will come along. Things have always had a way of working themselves out and falling into place for me so I'm remembering that. I'm hoping this baby will decide to come sooner rather than later so I can avoid the "last day goodbyes" which I always find the hardest.

Bonus things I've been able check off my to-do list:
- Making sure all B's school stuff is in order and taken care of (forms completed, etc.)
- Finishing my Easter shopping (and some birthday shopping) for the boys
- Putting holds on popular books I've been interested in reading at the library

35 Weeks

Another bathroom selfie but switched up the bathroom this time :)

It is such a relief to have reached 35 Weeks. At 29 weeks I had my doubts I'd make it this far but here I am. Second milestone reached! Only 2 weeks to go until this baby is full-term. Since B was born at 35 and a half weeks anything past that seems like "bonus" time. Last time around, anything after felt like an eternity since I'd never been that pregnant before.

Sleep has actually been getting a bit better. The past few nights I've slept 3 hour stretches before waking up to go to the bathroom instead of 1-2. I've also been feeling less sore at night which seems weird since I'm getting bigger but perhaps it is because the baby has dropped. I don't have those uncomfortable baby in rib cage feelings which is kind of nice but by after dinner my back usually aches. I've been finding a shower at the end of the day and going to bed nice and early - usually around 8 - helps.  

At my last midwives appointment we went over a lot of birth details. I'm still planning for a hospital birth. With B we had to stay almost a week at the hospital before coming home since he was early. With N, we stayed only 10 hours but had to go back frequently to monitor his jaundice levels which was a pain. This time around, my plan is to stay overnight to have time to rest and recover without the chaos of being home and make sure everything is A-OK with both myself and the babe. At my 36 week appointment I'll get my binder which I'll take with me to the hospital when I go. Things are getting real! Baby is still head down and I've gained approximately 25lbs to date. My work clothes are quickly starting to feel uncomfortable.

Still on my to-do list before baby comes:

- Use a gift card for a manicure, pedicure, and eyebrow wax. I could really go without the first two but I always feel so much more put together with manicured eyebrows.
- Pack my hospital bag
- Buy last few things for the nursery, along with a package of diapers and wipes
- Wash baby gear that we'll use in first couple of months - carseat cover, swing cover, rocker seat cover, and winter carseat bag since it looks like we'll probably need it!
- Make meals to freeze for first two weeks after baby arrives and stock up on pantry and household essentials
- Get my hair trimmed
- Order new countertop and dishwasher (come on tax return!)

I feel like this is a much more realistic to-do list than I've had with other pregnancies.

33 Weeks

Milestone reached! I've officially made it past 32 weeks and am in the clear for delivering at our local hospital. I think I'm finally almost rid of the last of the head cold that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks. Unfortunately, now the boys both seem to be sick with coughs.

At 33 weeks I'm feeling pretty large and uncomfortable (despite people telling me I look small). I've got the pregnancy waddle down pat now. Sleeping has also taken a turn for the worst. I generally go to bed by 8pm to account for all the times I get up through the night. Last night was particularly bad. I woke up every 1-2 hours before moving downstairs to finish the night on the couch which seemed more comfortable. I also have to be conscious to stay on my left side or rather off my right side or flat on my back due to an issue with my right kidney. Typically in other pregnancies at this point I would've woken up just enough to stretch my sore leg and out and roll over.

Baby seems to have turned head down and stayed there. Which is really good news. Though there is always the chance he'll flip back around. I forgot what a funny feeling baby hiccups were and what it feels like when the baby pushes up against one side. Movements have slowed down at this point but most of the movements now feel jarring and if I feel my belly I can feel a limb through the skin when that happens. N asks me often, "where's your baby?" and when I reply in my belly he looks surprised every time. B is really excited and seems to understand everything for the most part.

Emotionally, it feels very real that this baby will soon be here. I'd be very surprised if baby held off until his due date in early April which means he will likely be born sometime next month. Some things have been weighing on my mind...  like labour fear. Having had the experience of delivering both with the epidural and without, there is no denying that without was more painful. But at the same time, the pain was fairly short lived and the recovery seemed much easier. There was no IV or catheter; no worrying about potential side effects like paralysis, chronic headaches, prolonged labour and increased risk of cesarian, or lethargic baby; no waiting for the freezing to wear off, no required 24 hour hospital stay. I could also feel the effectiveness of pushing without the medication and only ended up with a hairline tear vs. a much worse tear when I had the epidural with B (who was 2lbs smaller!). But still I worry about complications arising and being without pain medication if interventions are needed like forceps, episiotomy (if the doctor takes over), or tearing that requires stitches. This is also coupled with the fear that my labours are generally very quick and even if I needed or decided I wanted pain relief there is a good chance I wouldn't be able to get it. I had a long conversation with R about my feelings. He's supportive of whatever I decide to do of course but ultimately only I can make that decision for myself. I'm still leaning toward going without the medication again. Keep your fingers crossed for a smooth labour and delivery for me!

I've been feeling sad about the thought of leaving work too. I love my job and the people I work with and since I am on a contract, I don't have a guaranteed job to come back to. Job searching again feels so daunting. Being a mother is definitely a very fulfilling and rewarding job and I love spending time with my kids but there is definitely a gap when I am not working or when I put my own passions to the side. Luckily, I volunteer with a couple of different groups/organizations so I am hoping I can ramp up my involvement there and I'm trying to keep a positive outlook that if I don't end up going back to my current job that a much better prospect will come up.

Our nursery is finally painted, furniture put back together and scrubbed cleaned (post to come soon!). Just waiting on the finishing touches - some decor - and to be loaded back up with the baby stuff from the basement. Now if we can get it together to finalize our short list of baby names we'll be prepared. Having a third boy definitely makes choosing a name more difficult!

Nesting: House Envy

The nesting phase has officially hit.

We've been in our current house nearly 3 years. Our first house was a HUGE project. It didn't feel gratifying spending money on things like windows, insulation, drywall, furnace, and electrical work, while I saw friends buying furniture, decks, appliances, and decor. When we were house shopping (coincidentally in my 3rd trimester last time around), we saw a lot of newer turnkey places with nice kitchens and bathrooms and wood and tile flooring in our price range. They were in brand new neighbourhoods with brand new schools. But the lots were tiny and there wasn't much privacy, yet at the same time, there didn't seem like much of a sense of neighbourliness or community either. We were also looking for a walkout to the backyard from the kitchen and most of the newer places had walk out basements. Having little ones, a walk out from the main floor was particularly appealing so we could see them if they were playing in the back yard without always having to go out ourselves or be in the basement.

The kitchen walkout was a good call! The boys spend a lot of time in the backyard.

When our realtor showed us our house, we fell in love with the large backyard and the abundance of green space compared to what we had seen in newer neighbourhoods. There were also kids everywhere and adults actually chatting in driveways. Our house was 10 years old so we still had awhile before major repairs and although the kitchen and bathrooms were standard builders grade and left much to be desired and the paint colour and decor was hideous, the house was functional and we were excited to not have to spend time and money on the mundane projects and be able to do fun updates. So we kicked back, relaxed, and settled in.. we hired a painter to paint the main floor and upstairs hallway, we did a small bathroom update project on the main floor, tiled the kitchen floor, built a deck, tackled the boys bedrooms, and are almost done the nursery.

But I still feel a twinge of jealousy when I see friends posting photos of stellar nurseries (not that ours won't be nice) and entertaining with their new furniture and upgraded kitchens. It feels silly though because having the same is totally within reach, we just haven't made upgrades to our house a priority. Instead, we've chosen to do other things like go on vacations, get a vacation spot up north, and try to pay off debt a little more quickly and I don't think we're willing to make concessions on any of those things to undertake expensive renovations right now - especially when I'm soon going to be off work. We'll just have to keep plugging away at small projects as we can afford them.  One of my carry over goals for this year that I didn't make much progress on last year was to make our house a home.  I'm hoping that this year while I'm off with the baby I can tackle some of the smaller inexpensive projects around the house that will make a big difference.

31 Weeks

I made it to 31 weeks - one more week and I will have met my first small milestone of being far enough to deliver locally and collect EI if I need to leave work early!

I felt pretty crummy this week and mostly felt like I was really just muddling through. I was uncomfortable most days at work whether it was my extremely low blood pressure making me feel faint or dizzy, just getting over an infection, being achy, feeling a ton of pressure, and being over the top exhausted - I just wasn't myself. This was extremely frustrating because I really enjoy my work and I'm usually so on the ball. I'm also usually happiest when I'm very busy. This week was the first time I regretted having extra commitments. Mentally and physically I was just not there. Last night, as soon as the boys were in bed, I packed it in at 7pm. I still woke up every 2-3 hours to go to the bathroom, get a drink/or mini snack (to help with the low blood pressure issues), and rearrange some of my 5 pillows I currently sleep with. But I slept until 7am and for the first time in nearly 2 weeks I felt worlds better.

Some things that helped me cope over the past couple of weeks:

- Having an awesome partner. DH has really been amazing. Being a working mom, we share parenting and household responsibilities pretty equally but the past 2 weeks he's really stepped up his game and taken over the lions share of the kid duties and cooking. My house hasn't been the cleanest but what is really important has been taken care of. My sister also deserves honourable mention as she watches the boys at our house during the week and also helped out more than usual with things like laundry, tidying, and shovelling.

- Making a goal to do just one "extra" thing each day. Usually I ended up doing 2 or 3 but it made me feel more productive when I was really feeling terrible and starting to get overwhelmed by the thought of everything that I wasn't doing that I'd need to get caught up on. One night I cleaned all the toilets (living with boys makes this a frequent chore) and stocked the bathrooms with toilet paper and it felt like such an accomplishment.

- Having the boys help out more. At almost 3 and almost 6, the boys are capable of doing a lot in terms of self care and around the house and they do regularly. I've never been more thankful that we've always encouraged their independence than I was last week. B can help N with a lot of the stuff he can't quite do on his own yet too. B thought it would be nice to help me since I wasn't feeling well by wiping down the table after dinner all of last week. It was sweet of him and it was a big help. N was my little helper all day long today - I barely had to bend over to pick anything up or reach things in low places. Both of them especially like helping to bring grocery bags to the kitchen and putting the groceries away. N loves to help with laundry - gathering items and filling the hamper, loading the machines and pressing start, transferring clothes from washer to dryer and emptying the dryer.

I'm hoping that the past couple of weeks were just a rough patch though I think they really put into perspective that there isn't much time left before baby #3 arrives and that I should be realistic in setting goals over the next couple of months and focus on prioritizing rest, healthy eating, and minimizing stress and sorting goals into what needs to be done immediately and what things can wait until after the baby arrives. Originally I had wanted to make baby photo albums for the boys and family year books for the last 6+ years but that is definitely something I can plug away at once the baby arrives and I'm off work. I've also said it before and it is something that I keep coming back to, I want to enjoy these last few weeks as a family of 4.

Pregnancy #3 Third Trimester Update

24 weeks - Baby#3

I haven't really talked much about this pregnancy on the blog. For the most part I have uneventful pregnancies but this pregnancy has been much more difficult than the other two so I haven't felt the excitement to do belly photographs or share complaints. The photo above is from 24 weeks or my "better days".

To clarify, Baby #3 is 100% healthy and perfect. I'll be 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow and he (still a he!) is measuring just over a week ahead at 31 weeks and is approximately 3lbs 10oz  according to an ultrasound I had yesterday morning. Everyone always tells me how small I look for my dates in every pregnancy so it is a nice piece of mind that baby looks to be in fact a little bigger than dates and thriving.

It is my body that has been less than cooperative this time around.

B was born at 35 weeks so early labour has always been a concern of mine with my pregnancies. I was lucky to deliver N at 38 weeks but only after a scare of early labour at 31 weeks. I also have ridiculously quick labours which doesn't sound like a complaint but I'm nervous about making it to the hospital on time.

So I sit... wishing I weren't wishing away these last weeks of being pregnant very likely for the last time but crossing my fingers for small milestones like making it to 32 weeks when I can deliver locally, making it to 35 weeks when the risks for baby are far less, and making it to 37 weeks for a full-term baby. Of course making it to the hospital for the birth is also high on the list, along with not needing a scheduled c-section which is looking like it could be in the cards at this point.

28 Weeks

I will do something in the nursery this weekend, however small. The job is just so daunting - removing wallpaper (which N half did on his own already when he occupied the room), patching in a few spots, and painting all needs to be done. Thankfully as a seasoned mama I know babies don't actually need or even appreciate much the fancy spaces we like to adorn them with. If its not done when this little man makes his arrival, it's not done. But it would be nice to have the experience of putting a lot of careful thought and love into creating a space just for him to bring him home to. It seems an opportunity we never had with the other boys with temporary accommodations when B arrived and a move on the horizon with N. This time around we'll be welcoming our newest addition into a home we plan on staying in for a long while and I guess we'll finally get to experience what it feels like to have that textbook bringing baby home event - if I can ever get around to finishing the room!

Baby #3 Update: It's a......

Prior to finding out the sex of our third - and very likely final - addition to our family, I found myself in a panic last week and frantically texting DH one day. I was feeling hormonal and thought I might be disappointed with whatever the outcome was whether it was a girl or a boy.

I always knew I wanted kids. In my daydreams about what my family would be like in the future whether the children were boys or girls never formed part of my thoughts. No expectations there. Just that we'd have a big family (3 seemed like a good number).

When I was pregnant with B I was confident I was having a girl - mother's intuition. I had dreams about having a daughter and all my symptoms according to old wives tales pointed to girl so when I found out he was  a boy I was really surprised. The happiness didn't come immediately. It took a few moments for me to wrap my head around a new image of what my family was going to look like but we were over the moon never the less. I remember thinking strangely to myself well.. I'll never know what it is like to have a family of all daughters or at least a family with a daughter as the oldest sibling.

With N, I had no guesses or inklings. Probably as a result of being wrong the first time around. DH thought for sure it was a girl. When we found out he was a boy I didn't feel surprised (I know DH was) but did feel excited and happy. A little brother for B. There was something special about the cohesiveness of having two little boys. I did think to myself well we'll never be the "nuclear" family of a boy and a girl. Or be a family with more daughters than sons since we had only really talked about maybe having one more child after this one.

This time around, everything felt very final so I was worried about feeling disappointed if it turned out to be a boy because I might feel sad that we'll likely never have the experience of having a girl. At the same time I was also worried about feeling disappointed if it was a girl because I'd never get to use those cute little boy sleepers, etc. again that I had such memories of with my two boys and I really do love having two little boys. I also worried about how having another baby, boy or girl, might change the dynamic of our family. We are so blessed that B and N really do get along well and love each other very much. What would throwing another child into the mix do to their relationship? DH assured me I was over thinking everything.

I can honestly say, there were no feelings of disappointment when we found out we will be having a boy! The boys were excited, especially B. I guess our family was meant to have 3 boys and it seems right for us!

Baby #3: First Trimester Recap

Phew! I am out of the first trimester. Big sigh of relief. My first trimester was both uneventful (for the most part) and different from my other pregnancies.

Given that it was my third pregnancy, I didn't have my first midwives appointment until 10 weeks which seemed like an eternity. I guess by now, they figure I would know the drill with taking prenatals and what I should be avoiding. At the 10 week appointment, my midwife said it would be too early to hear the heartbeat with the doppler so I had no idea whether there was even a baby in there (positive pregnancy test aside) until my dating ultrasound at almost 13 weeks. Having had two miscarriages, one before B and then another before N,  I was half expecting to receive bad news but the prospect of having a miscarriage didn't weigh on my mind like it did with the previous pregnancies. Maybe something about the fact that I have been fortunate enough and able to carry and deliver two healthy children. I just figured we'd try again if things didn't work out this time like we did with the others. Nevertheless, it was a huge relief at my 13 week scan when the technician confirmed there was indeed a baby in there and that everything looked really good! 

After experiencing only one week of nausea with B and then only feeling "off" a few times with N, I was surprised this time around to be hit with all day nausea from approx. 6.5 weeks-9.5 weeks. I never actually got sick but I felt terrible pretty much 100% of the time. During this time, I also spent a fortune eating out for lunch at work. Something would seem palatable to bring the evening before or in the morning when I was getting ready and then by lunchtime it would seem completely gross. Consequently I had to wait until lunch time to see what I thought I might be able to stomach at that time. I pretty much lived off of Tim Hortons chicken noodle soup and toasted dry bagel, Subway, and on a good day, the Pita Pit.  At home, I ate lots of bagels, bread/toast, and fried eggs. Needless to say, I have gained more weight this pregnancy than I did with my previous two. I am so happy this passed (and was only a few weeks)! Aside from the brief nausea and weight gain (fat not baby), I haven't actually felt too pregnant yet. 

At Thanksgiving, we shared our baby news with our families. One big difference I've noticed with this pregnancy is in peoples reactions to the news. First reactions have been more surprise than excitement.  Close friends and family knew that we were planning/thinking about having another so they weren't too surprised. After our first baby, people asked us when we were going to have another. When we got pregnant with N, there was resounding excitement from everyone - a sibling for B, how wonderful. 

Though I know most people are well meaning some of my "favourite" comments this time around, even from family have been:

"was it planned?" - as if no one in their right mind would plan three - must have been an accident

"so you decided to try for a girl" - a rationale to justify a third since we have the two boys and no one in their right mind would plan to have a third child, unless it was to try for the opposite gender

"that will be busy" 

I try to take it like a good sport and politely laugh it off. For the record, yes we planned to have a third baby. I came from a family of 3 kids, DH came from a family of 5 (his 3 oldest siblings are half siblings from a first marriage) - not exactly a stretch of the imagination that 3 kids might be a normal family size in our perspective. You bet my father-in-law (father of 5) sure didn't have any of the above "favourite" comments for us when we shared the news. No, we weren't trying for any gender in specific. We'll be (honestly) equally happy with whatever we get. And finally... yes, I'm sure we will be busy with 3 kids, but we enjoy keeping busy. 

We're so so excited for our new addition. 

Thankful

This year we are not only thankful for a roof over our heads, jobs, food, supportive family and friends, and two healthy and happy boys but also that we have been blessed with a third baby to look forward to welcoming this Spring!

Nicholas' Story

He's here! It took me awhile to post this. We have been slowly adjusting to life as a family of 4. Brendan, although over the moon about his little brother, has had the most adjusting of us all and has needed quite a bit of extra patience and love these days.

Here goes the story of Nicholas' arrival. I got my full-term, natural birth, I wanted.

Mothers' Day weekend (38 weeks) I was having quite a bit of contractions - starting Saturday at about noon. They were painless but a lot of pressure and were coming every few minutes. I decided to call the midwives just to have them check it out. I had experienced these contractions earlier on and they turned out to be nothing more than braxton hicks. She came to check me out and determined that I was about 3.5cm which was up from 1cm when I was checked at the clinic a couple days prior. She did a quick stretch and sweep (which wasn't as painful as I had thought it would be). However, when she returned a couple hours later there was no further progress. The contractions petered off at night and I was able to sleep. Brendan had a sleepover at Grandma's just incase labour picked up in the night.

All day Sunday I had sporadic painless contractions, again just a whole lot of pressure. About 4pm I noticed a bit of "show" but nothing to shake a stick at. Around 8:30pm I started getting some crampy contractions. I tried to lay down, in hopes they might settle. They didn't. At 10pm I paged my midwife who suggested that I should take some tylenol or gravol and have a warm bath since I seemed to have an irritable uterus. I didn't take the meds but decided to try the bath. After 10 mins in the bath I got out and things seemed to really pick up. I woke DH at about 10:45 and paged the midwife again. She said she'd meet us at the hospital at midnight. I called my mother to come over and watch Brendan since he was sleeping. Once she arrived we left immediately for the hospital since I was getting pretty uncomfortable. We arrived at the hospital at 11:30pm and checked in. The nurses checked my blood pressure, had the lab come to take some blood, and hooked me up to the monitors so that the midwife would have something to look at once she arrived. Sitting down so that the monitor could track my contractions and the baby's heartbeat made the contractions feel a million times worse. The midwife arrived at midnight and checked my progress immediately. We were 10cm and ready to push. She told me I had to hold off for 15 minutes until the other midwife arrived for the baby. At that point, 15 minutes seemed like an eternity.

Once the midwife arrived for the baby they broke my water and we began pushing. Nicholas Christopher was born at 1:40am and weighed 7lbs3oz. I didn't have any tearing and the proud papa was able to cut the cord for the second son like he did 3 years ago for the first. We were able to go home right afterwards but chose to stick around until about 10am to get a little rest afterwards.

Nicholas is such a gentle spirit. He sleeps right through all the commotion of the day and rarely fusses. He has been having longer quiet alert periods now which is just amazing. He is nursing like a champ. The past couple of nights he has slept 4-5 hour stretches which has allowed me to get some extra shut eye. He did have some jaundice but his levels are finally dropping and he didn't need any light therapy which was nice. We just love him!

Rainy Days

On rainy days we spend our time...

• baking - cut out cookies are a hit as cookie cutters are fun


• constructing elaborate structures for marble runs


• visiting the library (this afternoon we will try to find some books on being a "big brother")


• gently tossing a ball to eachother


• catch is the latest and greatest new game


• sometimes settling on the couch for some Caillou or Thomas


• building and re-building Mr.Potatohead

I'm enjoying these last few days with my little boy before he becomes my big boy. The midwives think baby might arrive in the next 2 weeks. We'll see. Some slight nesting has been going on here.. hospital bag packed, all essential supplies purchased...also..we are signing the paperwork to list our house tomorrow evening!

Settling into the Rhythm of Being Home Again

(32 1/2 weeks)

Although my last post was somewhat dark, things have much improved in only a few short weeks. We started putting B to bed between 7:45 and 8pm instead of between 7-7:30pm. This has made a huge difference. He no longer struggles with us and for the most part stays in bed after we have read him a couple of stories and tucked him in. He also now wakes up closer to 7am instead of 5:30 or 6am which is a bonus for me since I'm now home and don't have to get up for work. It also has been extremely wonderful that we decided to keep him in 3 half days/week at the school.

Our "school" days look a little something like this:

7am - Wake up - B wakes me up and we cuddle for a couple minutes in my bed.

7:05-7:45am - We eat some breakfast and get dressed, sometimes B watches one Caillou segment on YouTube while I get ready.

7:45-8am - Drop off to Montessori

8:05am - Coffee by myself!

8:05am-11:45am - I complete various errands, appointments (midwives), and household tasks.

11:45am - Pick up B from Montessori

11:50am-1pm - Lunch and a little play time

1pm-2:30 or 3pm - Nap time (I usually nap at this time too or atleast stay in bed)

3-4pm - Outdoor activity (weather permitting)

4-5pm - Dinner prep and daddy gets home

On the pregnancy front I am feeling quite large these days at nearly 34 weeks even though I have dropped 1 pound at each of my 2 appointments in the last month which concerns me slightly. Belly still seems to be getting larger. Had an early labour scare as a result of a symptomless UTI a few weeks back which led to 24 hours in a hospital 2 hours away since all the closer hospitals could not deliver before 32 weeks. In good news, baby is head down and ready to go. I previously had a low lying placenta. However the head has already cleared the placenta so I'm good to go for a vaginal birth. Horray! Hard to believe at this point with B I was a week and a half away from his arrival!

Third Trimester Musings - or Woes

So I'm officially in my third trimester with this pregnancy.. time seems to be going slowly and quickly all at the same time if that makes any sense. I am around 30 1/2 weeks now.

This time around I am feeling so much bigger than I did with B..even though I have gained the same amount of weight thus far. Small things like bending over are really starting to become tasks. Back ache presents itself toward the end of every day. Sleep at night is restless...between waking to use the washroom and waking to switch sides to alleviate sore hips. Heartburn..common these days. Now I know why they say second and subsequent pregnancies aren't the walk in the park the first one can often be. Much of this is commonly voiced among the other women I know who are currently pregnant with their second or third children...however rarely do these women discuss difficulties with their children or their husbands as if others will surely judge and that a woman on her second or subsequent pregnancy should be able to handle any situation at home she might have since she likely had a hand in deciding to have another baby.

Well although the physical part of being pregnant again has been somewhat uncomfortable to say the least, to be perfectly honest, to add to all this, the antics of an almost 3 year old are tiring, stressful, and just plain difficult much of the time. I find myself feeling awful about the sometimes strained relationship between me and B these days. It's not his fault but yet it isn't totally mine either with the hormones and growing body. He is a really spirited character. I find it really hard to keep him stimulated in his environment at home. When he is not stimulated he starts to cause trouble and demand attention and when he is pleasant to be around it takes much effort on my part to maintain the mood by constantly offering up new activities for him (usually us) to do that I really haven't had the energy for. It sometimes worries me about what the future might have in store once the baby is here and demands a lot of my time as well. However, even though I feel like 70% of my time spent with my little man these days is spent with me feeling frustrated and impatient (sometimes powerless and at my wits end) and him equally upset. The other 30% of the time is wonderful - with the laughs, morning cuddles, hugs and kisses, witty remarks on his end... these are the times I truely cherish with him and reaffirm that it is all worth it. I guess we have to take the bad with the good like in any meaningful relationship. They don't call it "terrible twos" for nothing but it is called "terrible twos" for a reason.. because it is a phase which means like all phases it will eventually be outgrown.

The Big Brother of Almost 3!

I used to use this blog space as almost a journal to keep track of B's development. I now realize that I have been lacking a "journal-type" post as of late.

At almost 3 (end of April)

My "little" guy is really growing up..

- He is pretty darn near fully potty trained (FINALLY) we still have the occasional accident at school during playtime but none at home and a usually dry sleep

- On that note - has graduated to the next class up at Montessori with the "big kids". He absolutely loves it and never looks back at me anymore when I drop him off

- Very concerned about what is right and what is wrong and often tells us. He also provides constant reminders/prompts to mommy and daddy such as "are you driving the speed limit?"

- Extremely excited to be a big brother and calls his impending sibling "my baby"

- Enjoys sleeping in his new big boy bedroom in a bunkbed - still goes to bed between 7-7:30 and wakes up somewhere between 5:30 (YES 5:30) and 6:30 no fail..every morning. Although I'd rather him be an early riser than late to go down. It does also make the school drop offs much easier since he has a little while to wake up before we leave the house

- A big "helper". Loves to help daddy do almost anything..especially things that involve a hammer

- Also likes to stick things (small pieces of crayon) in his ear which we recently discovered after visiting the doctor for another issue

- Favourite activities include: Swimming Lessons with Grandma, colouring with crayons, watching Caillou, reading (this kid tries to sneak books in his bed when he is supposed to be sleeping - we have to remove the books from the bedroom)

- Favourite foods: Will eat nearly anything you put in front of him..veggies too except sweet potato and squash although we're working on it. Yogurt, fruit of any sort, cheerios, peanut butter and crackers or toast, spaghetti, pizza, and McDonalds fries seem to be hits these days.

In other news.. Baby #2 is doing well. Extremely active and my earlier placenta location issues seem to be resolving themselves nicely so yay for a likely uncomplicated birth. I have started taking pre-natal yoga which is awesome and I only have 3 weeks left of work. Oh yeah and a potential move is on the horizon.

2011: the Year of the Slowdown

On the 31st we recieved news that foreshadowed a year of slowing down. One of my midwives called with some "non-concerning" news on my ultrasound for baby #2. It appears that I have a very low-lying placenta in this pregnancy. Not officially placenta previa where the placenta covers the cervix, but close. But as a precautionary measure, my midwife advised me to take it easy and of course no intercourse until I can go for another ultrasound at 28 weeks. She was optimistic that the situation would correct itself.

Therefore I have begun the process of taking an early leave of absence from Graduate School. I had hoped to finish off this semester in April. However, I know it would be too stressful and since B was a month early I want to keep this baby in as long as possible. Not to mention I'd have to leave part way through the semester if at 28 weeks I do indeed have placenta previa since I would require bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy.

So 2011... back to working 3 days/week until late March and spending more time at home with this sweet little guy.

14 Weeks

Well I've been somewhat absent since ohh about Thanksgiving. Things have been busy to say the least. School, Work, Family Time doesn't leave time for much else. But. We are expecting another wee babe in May and we're delighted. So far so good. No sickness this time around. Although I only had minimal feelings of nausea when I was pregnant with B - about 2 weeks. Things on the diet front are much different this time around with a Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Corn-Free and other dietary restrictions. But all is well - my wonderful team of midwives are not concerned. I feel great and have gained 3 lbs. Standard for me - I usually don't gain much weight in the first half of pregnancy.

So much to do before this next little one makes an appearance! Including transitioning our little "big brother" to a brand new bedroom. I'll be looking for design ideas for sure :)

He's just THAT Kid

I think after ohh about a year and a half I have come to terms with the fact that I am raising "THAT kid".. you know..

The one...

That can't resist jumping in every muddy puddle when given a chance.

That sticks his hands in butter and tries to drink massage oil when I'm not looking.

Who runs away in stores just about the time when mom has to pay the cashiers - and giggles his head off when I catch up to him.

That would rather eat all the strawberries and raspberries and "pick" rocks for his basket instead.

Who still wants to play on the playground even though he got his clothes and shoes all covered in sand and lake water and therefore had to play in a *borrowed* diaper (thank you prepared mom at the beach!), soaked running shoes and a hat on the busiest playground in town.

Who takes all his clothes and diaper off at potty time while the other daycare teachers are helping other children and declares proudly, "This is my penis!"

That throws a full blown tantrum every time we have to come inside from playing outside.


To clarify.. I don't think it has anything to do with my parenting skills or style. Often I find other parents saying "you sure have your hands full". I know at certain times I've felt green with envy at those parents that seem to have it easy with children that are quite content amusing themselves quietly and never seem to get into trouble. The truth is, I'm happy with who Brendan has become. I'm glad he's confident, outgoing, and not afraid to try new things and see what reactions he can elicit. I know he is learning valuable lessons about cause and effect and testing out boundaries. He effectively keeps me on my toes and teaches me so many new things every day. He also strengthens the bond in our family through laughter and honesty. I can't wait to see what another child will bring to our little family. Part of leading a more stress-free life is learning to accept the hand that you've been dealt. I'm feeling pretty content with all aspects of my life right now and so we enter the "premester". We were trying for another baby awhile back and decided to put it on hold when I got my part-time contract job. Timing was not right. Now it seems like a much better fit. We will begin trying for baby #2 in August.

Growing and Learning

While I have been having so much fun with Brendan staying home and watching him grow in leaps and bounds, I have still felt as though something has been missing...

At many points during my time as a stay at home mom I have felt an extreme loss of independence. Before Brendan came along I relished my time alone and loved keeping active and busy in a number of ways through my coursework, volunteering, etc. When Brendan was born I did what every mother does naturally and put life aside and took on my role as a mother 110% in that transition I lost a lot of what really made me independent and happy. When I was working on my undergraduate thesis I felt that independence come back. When I was working full-time last summer a small part of my "independence void" was filled but my "nurturing mother void" prevailed and I couldn't fathom working full-time and being a part-time mom.

Over the past few weeks I have realized that I really want to go back to school. I had always planned on going back to do a Masters but just didn't know when. As Brendan is learning new things everyday (see evidence below) my own personal growth and breadth of knowledge has been waning. I'm certain the answer to my fulfillment is to jump back into academia. This new endeavor will allow me to be more of a full-time mom and part-time student. I think this is my perfect balance. I have been working hard on my application for the Fall and hoping and praying that all the pieces fall into place. As for our baby plans... they are still in place even though I have decided to pursue this large venture. After much thought I felt that I didn't want to not take advantage of the opportunity to go back to school while I am in the right mindset. When I get pregnant I'll work out the details then but for now..here I go! Oh...and I officially start sewing classes this month - YAY!

Learning how to walk the dog and LOVING it!

I taught him how to make snowangels. He thought it was great :)