The Same but Different

One thing I love about having boys is dressing them alike as the picture above demonstrates. They aren’t too similar in appearance so B gets a kick out of “looking like brothers” in matching clothes.

Before N was born, I always heard others say that they loved all their children the same but differently and wondered how this could be possible. Harder for me to understand was how to love two boys the same. Somehow it seemed more plausible to me that loving two children the same could be achieved if they were different sexes. Now that I have two boys, I have been indoctrinated into the category of parents who love all their children the same but for different reasons. The things I like about B are definite character traits, whereas the things I love about N are general baby traits since at 6 mos. we only have a small glimpse of his personality.

Things I love about B at Age 3:

• His determination – he is sometimes persistent to a fault (good for things like mastering new tasks..bad for not getting his way)
• His independence – apart from playing, he enjoys doing things on his own so I let him. Yes, it can get messy or take a million times longer than it should but when he does master something, it gives him confidence and frees up time for us to focus on learning new things.
• His friendliness – this kid loves to talk to everyone and anyone who will listen (truth be told, it hurts my feelings when he tries to talk to other kids and they don’t respond to him or do so unfavourably)
• His sensitive/empathetic side – B has an extremely big heart. He is always concerned about how another’s day went. He never fails to show affection and share his feelings with us. Perhaps what I love most about him is his unwavering love for N - from getting out of bed to cheer him up in the middle of the night, to racing with excitement to see him every morning, to suggesting what he feels N might want when he gets fussy. He has yet to express jealousy toward him and I’m hoping it doesn’t come.

 Things I love about N at 6 months:

• When he giggles at his big brother – I could listen to this all day
• His agreeableness – in comparison to B, N is a far more agreeable baby. He rarely fussy apart from when he is hungry, tired, or bothered by a cold. He enjoys being held, but is also happy on his own.
• His relaxed demeanor – N is pretty okay with lots of commotion. This is good because with B, there’s no getting away from chaos. DH is pretty laid back, something I have always liked about him since I am a little more high strung. I’m thinking N might be similar to DH in this regard but hard to tell since he is still so young.
• His toe sucking – so darn cute!