Week 1

Week 1 wasn't without many uphill battles. My hospital stay was 3 nights. Nurses did the diaper changes and brought Noah to me or held him while I got ready to nurse. Sitting up in bed was so so painful and lets not talk about standing up. I had to breathe through the first time like I was in labour to manage the pain. I was afraid to shower with the incision and staples but it didn't hurt at all. I felt jealous of all the moms that were up walking around and picking up their own babies.

I went home on the Monday with my prescription heavy pain meds, Advil and Tylenol. The car ride was agonizing. I held a pillow on my lap. Every drainage sewer or bump we went over felt like my stomach was going to burst open. Once at home the pain didn't ease. I reminded myself not to be a martyr and to take the meds regularly. My back ached all along the left side. I chalked it up to gas pains.
The next day when R got home I was in tears. My stomach suddenly bloated up. Back to the hospital we went.

There were 2 issues. First was that the spinal from the surgery had likely put my bowel to sleep. Second was that during my surgery the doctor had to stitch into the arterial area to prevent internal bleeding and there was a good possibility one of the tubes draining my kidney to my bladder was affected when I was being stitched up.

They wanted to do a CT scan to confirm. I was told with the contrast dye and the cocktail of drugs, I needed to stop breastfeeding for 24-48 hours. I was being re-admitted and Noah couldn't stay. I felt devastated. The scan confirmed the blockage so I was scheduled for surgery in the morning to have a stent put in until the stitch dissolved.

My mom stayed the night with Noah and I at the hospital. She changed him and fed him with formula the nurses provided. R came first thing in the morning to take over. I was pumping and dumping to keep my supply up and only cuddling with Noah while he was asleep to avoid nipple confusion. It crossed my mind whether we should just make the switch to formula so I could spend more time with him but as much as it hurt, I pressed on with the pumping and tried to take comfort in the fact that he was being well loved and cared for by others. He was getting his skin to skin and being held and changed regularly, only dad was doing it, not me. He was a happy baby.

At 36 hours I was given the clear to resume breast feeding. Thankfully he went back without issue. After 2 days in the hospital I was finally allowed to go home again for the second time. We've been working ever since on building my supply back up and easing off the formula. Things are looking up now but I'm still wary that anything could go wrong so we're just taking things day by day here.