So I'm officially in my third trimester with this pregnancy.. time seems to be going slowly and quickly all at the same time if that makes any sense. I am around 30 1/2 weeks now.
This time around I am feeling so much bigger than I did with B..even though I have gained the same amount of weight thus far. Small things like bending over are really starting to become tasks. Back ache presents itself toward the end of every day. Sleep at night is restless...between waking to use the washroom and waking to switch sides to alleviate sore hips. Heartburn..common these days. Now I know why they say second and subsequent pregnancies aren't the walk in the park the first one can often be. Much of this is commonly voiced among the other women I know who are currently pregnant with their second or third children...however rarely do these women discuss difficulties with their children or their husbands as if others will surely judge and that a woman on her second or subsequent pregnancy should be able to handle any situation at home she might have since she likely had a hand in deciding to have another baby.
Well although the physical part of being pregnant again has been somewhat uncomfortable to say the least, to be perfectly honest, to add to all this, the antics of an almost 3 year old are tiring, stressful, and just plain difficult much of the time. I find myself feeling awful about the sometimes strained relationship between me and B these days. It's not his fault but yet it isn't totally mine either with the hormones and growing body. He is a really spirited character. I find it really hard to keep him stimulated in his environment at home. When he is not stimulated he starts to cause trouble and demand attention and when he is pleasant to be around it takes much effort on my part to maintain the mood by constantly offering up new activities for him (usually us) to do that I really haven't had the energy for. It sometimes worries me about what the future might have in store once the baby is here and demands a lot of my time as well. However, even though I feel like 70% of my time spent with my little man these days is spent with me feeling frustrated and impatient (sometimes powerless and at my wits end) and him equally upset. The other 30% of the time is wonderful - with the laughs, morning cuddles, hugs and kisses, witty remarks on his end... these are the times I truely cherish with him and reaffirm that it is all worth it. I guess we have to take the bad with the good like in any meaningful relationship. They don't call it "terrible twos" for nothing but it is called "terrible twos" for a reason.. because it is a phase which means like all phases it will eventually be outgrown.