Noah and motherhood at 6 months

This update is a little late but I can hardly believe Noah has been with us for half a year already! It seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye. Last Thanksgiving we were sharing the news with friends and family that we were expecting and here we are this year as a family of 5. It's hard to remember life before him.

At 6 months, Noah is:
- Nearly 18 pounds and eating solids! We started him on brown rice cereal at 5 months but it just wasn't sitting well and then he flat out refused to eat it. Our doctor suggested we try oatmeal instead (we started big brother N on oatmeal). Noah loved his oatmeal and has since tried sweet potato and squash. We're going to keep the train moving with introducing new veggies every 2-3 days from this point forward.
- Still nursing but can get pretty distracted. I still come home from work at lunch and even though he isn't eating a ton when I do, he is still happy to see me and to nurse. I think it is definitely helping to keep up my supply and I don't feel ready to stop yet. It feels pretty special getting to see my two littlest guys even for 25 minutes mid-day. It has also been nice not having to pack a lunch.
- Sitting! Around 6 months, he started being able to sit on his own for a few seconds here and there when he was occupied with something in front of him. He can now sit and play with toys for a bit longer periods without toppling over or getting fussy. He still loves to jump in the jolly jumper and to go in his exersaucer. He loves touching, grabbing, and holding just about everything.
- A mega drooler. I keep expecting to see a tooth any day but both of his brothers were late to get teeth so they could not show up for a while. He constantly has his right hand in his mouth sucking his fist. I've been trying to get him to use a teething toy since his little hand is getting a rash from all the sucking.
- Back to sleeping for about 10-12 hours at night. We put him down around the same time as his brothers at 7pm. Then I wake him to nurse before I go to bed around 10pm and he'll sleep until about 6am.

This boy!

Couldn't contain his excitement his first time having veggies - banged his tray excitedly between bites

I'm finally feeling 100% like my old self physically and mentally. Physically, I actually feel stronger than I have since before having kids. Skating for just an hour and a half once a week has made a big difference in how I feel.  I still cringe when things touch my abdomen but not because it hurts, just because it still seems tender or extra sensitive to touch. Sleeping through the night I think has been a huge factor in why this time around I'm feeling much happier and am able to cope with stressful situations. I also think having a job I love, feeling secure financially, and rather than giving up the things I enjoy doing, actually making the time to do them (like skating and volunteering) has made the work/life/family balance and settling into life as a family of five much easier than each of the last times we expanded our family.

Recently, I bit the bullet and spent just under $300 at the used clothing store and mall. I bought mostly active wear and business attire, and a pair of black pumps for work. Up until this point, I was wearing many of the pieces I'd bought pre-kids along with a few I had bought in between pregnancies. Most of my wardrobe in general is well-worn and I haven't been feeling particularly attractive in my clothes lately since my body went through so many changes with all 3 pregnancies and I wore the same clothes while nursing and through about half of my pregnancies so they are stretched in some places and don't fit the nicest. Eventually I hope to replace most of my wardrobe but at this point I'm still nursing so I'm going to try to make due for now with my few new pieces. I hate looking or feeling frumpy!

So long sweet summer

The view from our hammock at the trailer. Taken a few weekends ago. No filter. 

 While it looks like we might get in one last weekend of decent weather at the trailer, Fall is definitely here in Ontario and we've had our heat on a couple of nights already. I can't help but think of how different next summer will be with Noah toddling about. I'm sad to say I didn't make it out in the canoe at all this year. This summer was all about muddling through with a newborn and a new job. I'm optimistic about what the Fall will bring for us. Fall always feels like a new beginning for me even though I'm not returning to school so it seems like a fitting time to check back in with my 2014 goals:

- I will find secure an meaningful employment. I am loving my job! Every day I feel challenged in a positive way. I've met so many wonderful people and can actually say I'd consider some of them as friends. I enjoy morning and afternoon coffee breaks with my coworkers. Many of them have kids around the same age or a little bit older so it is nice to hear their experiences and how they manage work/life balance. 

- I will continue to pay off debt (at least $10,000) this year while at the same time taking a family vacation. Womp. Womp. Womp. If you've been reading my posts, you'll have noticed that I haven't been blogging monthly finance updates. Truth is, we've just been maintaining our debt payments and haven't been allocating anything extra really to debt repayment. Amid all the chaos of transition to our family of 5 and new job, something had to give. Unfortunately it was this. We did enjoy lots of family time together this summer at the trailer and are still hoping to plan a weekend getaway to Niagara Falls and Great Wolf Lodge this Fall. We're still plugging away at the debt albeit slowly. But I'm mostly happy that we didn't have to take on any additional debt this year. 

- I will make our house a home. Over the summer I was able to tackle a couple of little painting projects around the house and this past weekend R fixed up our fence in a few places where the boards had broken or come loose. The baby gear is starting to make its way out of our house and I've been trying to do some much overdue purging which in itself will make our house feel more like a home since we're working toward only having things that we use and/or make us happy. Fall and Winter seem like a good time to make some serious progress in this area.

- I will make an effort to be healthy. I'm really excited about this goal because for the first time in 10+ years, I'll be doing an organized sport! When I was younger, I figure skated and also skated on a synchronized skating team for many years. I've signed up to skate on an adult synchronized skating team this winter. I'm looking forward to getting back on the ice. Otherwise, I'm still nursing and back in nearly all of my pre-pregnancy wardrobe. I'm going to try to get back to going to bed again around the same time as Noah. I've been staying up late many nights and have been feeling it through sickness and exhaustion. I need to make self care more of a priority. 

- I will make an effort to focus more on extended family. 

This one is tough. Throughout the year I wondered more about why I decided upon this particular goal. I think it was mostly out of an idealization of family. I think I'd like it to be instead "make an effort to focus more on important relationships and the people that matter". We have some friends that are like gold and some family members that could care less about how we're doing and vice versa. It can be so draining to focus time and energy on relationships that just aren't there. I want to surround our family with people who we care about and who care about us. These are the relationships I want to invest in. 

5 Months

My baby is 5 months old!

Noah smiles, giggles, and coos constantly. He has the biggest smiles for me when I come home from work for lunch and at the end of the day. Pretty much the best feeling in the world.

He is very active. Tummy time is not his favourite and the amount of time he'll sit idle in a baby seat without fussing is getting less and less. He loves jumping like crazy in the Jolly Jumper and will spend about 5-10 minutes at a time in the exersaucer.

Nursing is still going well. I nurse exclusively when I'm home still and pump for when I'm at work. I've had a few setbacks where I've missed pumping/nursing sessions due to appointments or for whatever reason had longer periods of time away. This meant I fell short and we've had to supplement with a couple ounces of pre-mixed formula in my absence. A few times I've been so tired I've dragged my feet to pump and almost thrown in the towel but I'm so so happy I've been able to keep up the nursing relationship this long and am still planning on keeping it up for as long as we are both happy.  I'll often nurse while eating at the kitchen table (hey, this mama likes to multi-task!), but lately Noah has been more interested in watching me eat than in nursing so I've had to switch to nursing him in quieter places with less distractions.

Sleep has gone a bit down hill. He'll still sleep long stretches at night but has been waking once or twice to eat. Not sure if he is just more hungry or wants the snuggles.

As for me, I've been recovering from strep throat this week. Last weekend Noah and I spent cuddling at home while I was sick and the rest of the boys were at the trailer. Overall, I feel so much happier and relaxed with Noah than I did after the other boys were born. I'm loving work. I'm loving time at home with the boys. I can go out and grab a few groceries in the evening or shower just after I put Noah down and not worry. Life is pretty darn great.

Every now and then my abdomen will feel uncomfortable but otherwise, I don't notice any weirdness or discomfort most of the time from my c-section. I had my follow up appointment with a urologist related to my complication and everything looks good with my kidney function. Oddly I felt a twinge of sadness at my most recent urologist appointment as it seems to be the last of the medical appointments I still have related to my pregnancy/birth.

Keeping our cable package and screen time.

For years I've been pushing to get rid of cable TV. Mainly to save money but also to cut screen time.

There is a whole body of literature on the effects of television and screen time on health, wellbeing, etc. Especially when it comes to children. I won't get into that here but when B was a baby, I tried hard to limit screen time - even passive screen time. I'll admit now that I was a bit on the extreme side. I would get agitated when R would watch TV with B in the same room. With N we took a far more relaxed approach since B was starting to watch some educational programming and it was difficult to let one watch and not the other. As a child I spent hours in front of the television each day and so did R. We also grew up with multiple video game systems, and the beginning of personal computers and the internet. Our parents never seemed concerned about screen time but then again we also spent a ton of time playing outside.

We don't have strict rules around screen time in our house. We have two TVs. One in our bedroom is rarely used. We have an older PS3 which we mostly use to play movies from an external hard drive. We own a few kid-friendly video games for the PS3 but they aren't often played.
The boys each have older model Nintendo DS systems. One was dropped in a bucket of mop water and didn't turn on so we bought a replacement the next year as a Christmas gift. However, the broken system dried out and magically worked again. These mostly get used for the cameras and sometimes the odd game on a long car ride.  We also have a Leap Pad (also a Christmas gift) with some educational games which N will sit and play with on occasion.

Given the opportunity, my kids would rather go outside and play than sit in front of a screen but the option has been there either way. It's funny though because I notice a big difference between my two oldest boys. B isn't much of a TV watcher and craves constant social interaction. N will happily sit down to watch TV. He'll call out answers when watching one of his favourite shows, Team Umizoomi, and I'll often hear him reenacting scenes with scenarios and/or characters from a TV show in independent play.

So..we've decided to keep cable. I'm a big fan of living life with intention and I'm glad we're making an intentional decision to choose to invest in cable. R enjoys coming home from work and watching TV to unwind after working hard outside all day long. Just like I enjoy reading blogs or connecting with friends on social media. Cutting cable wouldn't really affect me at all since I rarely watch but it is a pastime the rest of my family enjoys.  I find now that I actually like coming home and seeing the boys completely into programs like Shark Week on Discovery Channel or How It's Made. I love hearing them ask all sorts of questions about the shows they've watched. Retrospectively, I think the TV was a fantastic educational tool for me growing up. I remember watching Sesame Street at my baby sitters house and the Magic School Bus. When I got a bit older, I learned many life lessons watching shows like Full House or the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I hope that our family can benefit from having cable TV while avoiding the trap of sedentary life style, etc. If we see the scale start to tip then we'll have to reassess.

I'm curious how others feel about television and screen time and whether you always felt the same way. Do you have cable? Any rules around TV in your house?

A favourite fashion accessory

Remember when I blogged about my wardrobe returning to work? Well, September is coming up and I'll have to get a little more formal at work. I used to wear these a ton but forgot about them until recently:

I love a good broach. I think they totally class up an outfit and make it feel more formal. The green oval was my grandmothers. I prefer broaches to wearing other cheap accessories like necklaces and bracelets. I am extremely sensitive (especially ears) so don't tend to wear much jewellery since the inexpensive stuff sometimes causes an allergic reaction and I don't own very many more precious pieces. I've seen a lot of articles floating around lately about toxins in cheap jewellery. I like that even a cheap broach doesn't rest directly on your skin all day.

Do you have any tricks for upping the formality of an outfit/appearance?

4 Months

I don't know where the time has gone. Somehow it feels like just yesterday we were meeting Noah for the first time and now he is a third of the way to one year old! Being third time parents, I think we are so much more relaxed this time around. It has been such a different experience with Noah.

At 4 months, Noah:

- Is a good sleeper. Most nights will sleep a solid 8+ hours. Writing this feels so wrong because I know there are so many other new moms out there who are operating on some serious sleep deprivation. I've been there too. I wish I had the magic formula for getting a baby to sleep through the night to share but really, I feel like it is just a fluke! Also, this kid loves his crib. We were away for the long weekend so shared a bed. He was up several times through the night eating. Since he has been back in his crib at home, he has slept nearly 10 hours straight each night. We try to put him down as much as we can for naps in his crib.

- Laughs!... and laughs and laughs. It is just the sweetest sound in the world. He is very ticklish and will grin and coo in anticipation of you touching his armpit or neck while you're changing his clothes. Otherwise, he is becoming very vocal and loves to "chat" and shriek.

- Enjoys time in the Jolly Jumper and is actually moving around now in there. His head and neck control is amazing.

- Still goes easily from breast to bottle. Pumping is going well. He generally goes through 2-3 bottles in the morning and 1-2 in the afternoon. Each about 3oz. Along with our lunchtime feeding. So anywhere from about 15-18 oz throughout the work day. He does still do some cluster feeding in the evenings. This week we got the highchair out and washed it up so he can start sitting with us at the table while we eat dinner. Last night was his first night with us at the table and it was so fun!

- Is a thumb/hand sucker. He'll often roll his head to the side and put his hand to his mouth when I lay him down in his crib to go to sleep.

As for my own postpartum body, I'm back wearing about 3/4 of my regular clothes. My abdomen is feeling noticeably better from the c-section but still the tiniest bit tender to the touch or if I stretch too much. I'm anxious to feel more comfortable in my body again but I'm still not feeling there yet for getting into an exercise routine. This time around I want to be kind to myself and allow a generous amount of time to fully heal physically and emotionally. I'm also still sustaining a not so little human being so my body isn't completely mine. I've heard it takes nearly a year to have a baby so it should take about that long to "get your body back" and I think there is a lot of truth there.

Lately: balancing life and becoming debt free

In case you noticed, I haven't been on top of posting monthly updates on our debt repayment lately. Partly because we haven't been making too much progress in that department and partly because we've been trying to find a new money system that works for us, figure out exactly how much income we'll have with me back working, reevaluate our expenses and make adjustments in our budget accordingly.

A few things have put a halt in the short term on our debt repayment:

1) Fluctuating income. While I'm earning a bit more money working than I was collecting maternity employment insurance, my salary is just about 10K less than what I was making at my previous job to start and most of the additional is offset by increased child care expenses with 3 kids and it being summer break as well as pension plan contributions which I didn't have previously. The pension contributions are a HUGE bonus for the long term, especially since my employer will match them. In the short term it means less money in the budget than previously. Before making any concrete changes to our budget or financial plan, we're waiting on my probation period at work to end at which time I'll also receive a small raise. This will give us some real leverage if we plan on refinancing or consolidating debt. 

2) Fluctuating expenses. I don't know whether it is being outside all day or just my new reality with 3 growing gentleman but our grocery bill has gone up exponentially in the past couple of months. Our utility bills have also been higher.

3) Unexpected expenses. I've mentioned before that we decided against having an emergency fund since we'd rather put all of our additional money to pay down our high interest debt. At the beginning of the summer our A/C motor burned out. Luckily a friend of a family member was able to come and fix it for just the cost of the part since we let him borrow our extension ladder from time to time but we'll likely have to replace the unit in the next few years. More recently, we got an even bigger blow. One side of our roof is looking particularly bad. We're hoping we can put replacement off until next spring so we can use our tax return to help with the expense but it's entirely possible we won't be able to wait until then so we're slowly trying to put aside what we can from R's overtime money. I know we could get financing if we needed to but the mere thought of taking on more debt weighs heavily. Lastly, my car is in need of a tune up and brake job which I put off earlier this year when I took my car in for servicing and ended up walking out with a $600 bill. I'm anticipating about the same expense this time around so have put about $400 aside so far (on my visa) to cover this expense.  

I've been thinking a lot lately about how our budget allocations are a reflection of our family values. There are some areas where I feel happy with the proportion spent and other categories I feel could use some re-alignment. While some of this alignment can be done in the short term, some will have longer timelines or will only become possible with an increase in income.