Keeping our cable package and screen time.

For years I've been pushing to get rid of cable TV. Mainly to save money but also to cut screen time.

There is a whole body of literature on the effects of television and screen time on health, wellbeing, etc. Especially when it comes to children. I won't get into that here but when B was a baby, I tried hard to limit screen time - even passive screen time. I'll admit now that I was a bit on the extreme side. I would get agitated when R would watch TV with B in the same room. With N we took a far more relaxed approach since B was starting to watch some educational programming and it was difficult to let one watch and not the other. As a child I spent hours in front of the television each day and so did R. We also grew up with multiple video game systems, and the beginning of personal computers and the internet. Our parents never seemed concerned about screen time but then again we also spent a ton of time playing outside.

We don't have strict rules around screen time in our house. We have two TVs. One in our bedroom is rarely used. We have an older PS3 which we mostly use to play movies from an external hard drive. We own a few kid-friendly video games for the PS3 but they aren't often played.
The boys each have older model Nintendo DS systems. One was dropped in a bucket of mop water and didn't turn on so we bought a replacement the next year as a Christmas gift. However, the broken system dried out and magically worked again. These mostly get used for the cameras and sometimes the odd game on a long car ride.  We also have a Leap Pad (also a Christmas gift) with some educational games which N will sit and play with on occasion.

Given the opportunity, my kids would rather go outside and play than sit in front of a screen but the option has been there either way. It's funny though because I notice a big difference between my two oldest boys. B isn't much of a TV watcher and craves constant social interaction. N will happily sit down to watch TV. He'll call out answers when watching one of his favourite shows, Team Umizoomi, and I'll often hear him reenacting scenes with scenarios and/or characters from a TV show in independent play.

So..we've decided to keep cable. I'm a big fan of living life with intention and I'm glad we're making an intentional decision to choose to invest in cable. R enjoys coming home from work and watching TV to unwind after working hard outside all day long. Just like I enjoy reading blogs or connecting with friends on social media. Cutting cable wouldn't really affect me at all since I rarely watch but it is a pastime the rest of my family enjoys.  I find now that I actually like coming home and seeing the boys completely into programs like Shark Week on Discovery Channel or How It's Made. I love hearing them ask all sorts of questions about the shows they've watched. Retrospectively, I think the TV was a fantastic educational tool for me growing up. I remember watching Sesame Street at my baby sitters house and the Magic School Bus. When I got a bit older, I learned many life lessons watching shows like Full House or the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I hope that our family can benefit from having cable TV while avoiding the trap of sedentary life style, etc. If we see the scale start to tip then we'll have to reassess.

I'm curious how others feel about television and screen time and whether you always felt the same way. Do you have cable? Any rules around TV in your house?

A favourite fashion accessory

Remember when I blogged about my wardrobe returning to work? Well, September is coming up and I'll have to get a little more formal at work. I used to wear these a ton but forgot about them until recently:

I love a good broach. I think they totally class up an outfit and make it feel more formal. The green oval was my grandmothers. I prefer broaches to wearing other cheap accessories like necklaces and bracelets. I am extremely sensitive (especially ears) so don't tend to wear much jewellery since the inexpensive stuff sometimes causes an allergic reaction and I don't own very many more precious pieces. I've seen a lot of articles floating around lately about toxins in cheap jewellery. I like that even a cheap broach doesn't rest directly on your skin all day.

Do you have any tricks for upping the formality of an outfit/appearance?

4 Months

I don't know where the time has gone. Somehow it feels like just yesterday we were meeting Noah for the first time and now he is a third of the way to one year old! Being third time parents, I think we are so much more relaxed this time around. It has been such a different experience with Noah.

At 4 months, Noah:

- Is a good sleeper. Most nights will sleep a solid 8+ hours. Writing this feels so wrong because I know there are so many other new moms out there who are operating on some serious sleep deprivation. I've been there too. I wish I had the magic formula for getting a baby to sleep through the night to share but really, I feel like it is just a fluke! Also, this kid loves his crib. We were away for the long weekend so shared a bed. He was up several times through the night eating. Since he has been back in his crib at home, he has slept nearly 10 hours straight each night. We try to put him down as much as we can for naps in his crib.

- Laughs!... and laughs and laughs. It is just the sweetest sound in the world. He is very ticklish and will grin and coo in anticipation of you touching his armpit or neck while you're changing his clothes. Otherwise, he is becoming very vocal and loves to "chat" and shriek.

- Enjoys time in the Jolly Jumper and is actually moving around now in there. His head and neck control is amazing.

- Still goes easily from breast to bottle. Pumping is going well. He generally goes through 2-3 bottles in the morning and 1-2 in the afternoon. Each about 3oz. Along with our lunchtime feeding. So anywhere from about 15-18 oz throughout the work day. He does still do some cluster feeding in the evenings. This week we got the highchair out and washed it up so he can start sitting with us at the table while we eat dinner. Last night was his first night with us at the table and it was so fun!

- Is a thumb/hand sucker. He'll often roll his head to the side and put his hand to his mouth when I lay him down in his crib to go to sleep.

As for my own postpartum body, I'm back wearing about 3/4 of my regular clothes. My abdomen is feeling noticeably better from the c-section but still the tiniest bit tender to the touch or if I stretch too much. I'm anxious to feel more comfortable in my body again but I'm still not feeling there yet for getting into an exercise routine. This time around I want to be kind to myself and allow a generous amount of time to fully heal physically and emotionally. I'm also still sustaining a not so little human being so my body isn't completely mine. I've heard it takes nearly a year to have a baby so it should take about that long to "get your body back" and I think there is a lot of truth there.

Lately: balancing life and becoming debt free

In case you noticed, I haven't been on top of posting monthly updates on our debt repayment lately. Partly because we haven't been making too much progress in that department and partly because we've been trying to find a new money system that works for us, figure out exactly how much income we'll have with me back working, reevaluate our expenses and make adjustments in our budget accordingly.

A few things have put a halt in the short term on our debt repayment:

1) Fluctuating income. While I'm earning a bit more money working than I was collecting maternity employment insurance, my salary is just about 10K less than what I was making at my previous job to start and most of the additional is offset by increased child care expenses with 3 kids and it being summer break as well as pension plan contributions which I didn't have previously. The pension contributions are a HUGE bonus for the long term, especially since my employer will match them. In the short term it means less money in the budget than previously. Before making any concrete changes to our budget or financial plan, we're waiting on my probation period at work to end at which time I'll also receive a small raise. This will give us some real leverage if we plan on refinancing or consolidating debt. 

2) Fluctuating expenses. I don't know whether it is being outside all day or just my new reality with 3 growing gentleman but our grocery bill has gone up exponentially in the past couple of months. Our utility bills have also been higher.

3) Unexpected expenses. I've mentioned before that we decided against having an emergency fund since we'd rather put all of our additional money to pay down our high interest debt. At the beginning of the summer our A/C motor burned out. Luckily a friend of a family member was able to come and fix it for just the cost of the part since we let him borrow our extension ladder from time to time but we'll likely have to replace the unit in the next few years. More recently, we got an even bigger blow. One side of our roof is looking particularly bad. We're hoping we can put replacement off until next spring so we can use our tax return to help with the expense but it's entirely possible we won't be able to wait until then so we're slowly trying to put aside what we can from R's overtime money. I know we could get financing if we needed to but the mere thought of taking on more debt weighs heavily. Lastly, my car is in need of a tune up and brake job which I put off earlier this year when I took my car in for servicing and ended up walking out with a $600 bill. I'm anticipating about the same expense this time around so have put about $400 aside so far (on my visa) to cover this expense.  

I've been thinking a lot lately about how our budget allocations are a reflection of our family values. There are some areas where I feel happy with the proportion spent and other categories I feel could use some re-alignment. While some of this alignment can be done in the short term, some will have longer timelines or will only become possible with an increase in income.

Summer Week Days

Summer is in full swing here. I'm sad I don't get to spend it all with my guys but happy to report things are going really well at home during the week and I have been enjoying seeing them at lunchtime.

I was worried about them getting bored quickly and having to plan a lot of activities and outings but so far they haven't grown tired of sticking close to home.

B goes to summer camp with the neighbourhood kids for half the day close by. The rest of the day is spent mostly playing outside with many of the same kids. The kids range from toddlers to 12 year olds and they all play wonderfully together. Older ones helping the younger ones or just playing nicely alongside. Nicky tries his best to keep up with the big kids and doesn't get too discouraged when he can't always tag along. They'll ride bikes, collect bugs and frogs, play at the playground, or play in the driveways or someone's backyard. So much like my own childhood but slightly more supervised. I love that there are so many kids in our neighbourhood. My sister spends most of the day keeping watch from the porch with Noah. He'll sleep often in a rocker outside or in his playpen just inside the window where she can keep an eye and ear out for him while still letting the big boys play outside.

Otherwise, they do watch some TV, jump on the trampoline, swim in the kiddie pool in our backyard and do arts and crafts to their hearts content. And when they get bored of an activity inside, 9 times out of 10, that same activity can be brought outside and there is instantly renewed interest!

3 Months

Our little Nowie is 3 months old!

So much changed between 2 and 3 months.

The biggest change was with his sleep. He began sleeping through the night in his crib in his own room! The first night he woke up twice. I went in his room to feed him the first time and then brought him into bed with us the second time. The next night he only woke up once and the following night he slept 8 hours! No crying involved. I'm in such disbelief since the big boys didn't sleep 8 hours until closer to a year! The first few nights I had a harder time than he did. It felt so weird to be without him at night. I missed feeling him cuddled up next to me. But we're all sleeping better with this new sleeping arrangement now. He has also been getting into a more routine nap schedule with 3 naps/day.

Over the past month he has become super efficient at nursing and will empty one breast in about 10 minutes though lately it seems to take a bit longer because he has also turned into quite the little monkey. The amount we bottle feed him while I'm at work recently increased from 2.5 oz to 3 oz per feed. We also discovered he likes to self sooth by sucking on his hand. Usually just before he falls asleep. We've never used pacifiers. Mostly just paranoia over having to drop the habit later on. I toyed with introducing one to him since he seems to be such a sucker unlike the other boys but he's happy with his hand so I'm not going to mess with his own thing he has got going on.

Boredom has also developed in a huge way. He is no longer content just being held or sitting in a chair for longer periods of time. He tends to need a change of scenery every 20-30 minutes when he is awake. Just this week we got out the Jolly Jumper and we've been putting him in there for 10 minutes here and there. He doesn't jump yet but does enjoy "standing" and being vertical. He also went for his first dip in the pool at the trailer this month. He didn't seem at all bothered by the water and the boys got a kick out of seeing him in the pool.

B and N are very engaged with him and love to sit in front while he is in the Jolly Jumper, rock him in his rocker, or lay on the couch with him.  He is getting to be so much fun with his non-stop smiles and coos.

As for my c-section recovery. I'd say I'm feeling 90%! I still feel my abdominal strain when I get up too quickly from bed and small things like that but I'm really feeling so much better and have been since I got my stent out a month ago today! Every day I count my lucky stars that Noah is doing so well and I'm finally feeling much more like myself.

Mid-Year Goals Update

Here we are in July already. With everything else going on health wise and getting used to life as a family of 5, I feel like we've just been muddling through for the past few months but in the past couple of weeks I've been able to get back to thinking about goals. Time to get serious again about tackling them. I had some pretty big goals this year. I'm almost regretting making such lofty goals since this year has turned out to be pretty nuts but here is how I've done to date:

- I will find secure and meaningful employment. YES!

- I will continue to pay off debt (at least $10,000) this year while at the same time taking a family vacation. 

Have not made much progress in this area at all. The credit card balances didn't get paid off before I finished work. On the bright side, we haven't taken on any additional debt in the first half of the year but are still hovering around where we started in January. I'll post an update soon on my plans for the second half of the year.

As for the vacation, we have been enjoying our trailer but no real family vacations either. I'm thinking we'll plan a weekend trip to Great Wolf Lodge and Niagara Falls for sometime this fall.

- I will make our house a home. 

I'm happy to say I've made a bit of progress on this one with the completion of the nursery (LINK), and my new countertop in the kitchen. I recently got a photo app for Blacks and was amazed how easy it was to send photos from my phone for printing. I printed a few of the boys for my desk at work but I haven't picked them up yet. Now that I have an easy and quick way, I'm thinking I might be able to print some more photos to start filling our bare walls.

- I will make an effort to be healthy. 

I delivered a healthy full-term baby like planned. I've been able to successfully breastfeed for the first 3 months of his life and hope to continue at least another 3 and ideally until he is a year old. I'm very close to pre-pregnancy weight but with my recent health issues related to my birth, I need to make more of an effort to prioritize rest, healthy eating, and a bit of exercise.

- I will make an effort to focus more on extended family.

We've been visiting R's family approximately once/month which has been nice. We've also seen a fair bit of my mom so I'd like to keep this up. October is coming up so quickly when they'll be heading back to Florida so our time is limited!